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Old 03-24-2014, 10:09 AM   #31
Steve Agocs
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Overland Park  KS
Posts: 98
Re: SO Frustrated

"Last place" is still infinitely ahead of all the people who didn't do the work at all in the first place.
Steve Agocs, D.C., SFMA, FMT Instr., CrossFit Level 1
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Old 03-24-2014, 10:57 AM   #32
Tighe Crovetti
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Collegeville  PA
Posts: 359
Re: SO Frustrated

A woman at my box is in her 50's, or 60's, I think. She's been training with our owner for 3 years, I think, since before he opened this place. She is still quite overweight, but FAR less than she used to be. She still can't do a T2B or a double under. And she's there five days a week, and relentlessly cheers on and compliments other people, and attempts every Open workout regardless.

At some point, the challenge and joys and failures and struggles of Crossfit begin to mesh and blend with who you are, and feed you, or they don't. Unfortunately, what I'm hearing, and others are, too, is that you're letting your insecurity drive your perceptions of the experiences. Is there probably one or two or three people at your box that don't understand and empathize with you, aren't as supportive as they should be? Sure, people are people, Crossfit is a magic filter that only allows in perfectly ethical and moral and kind people. But I am willing to bet that there are way more people encouraging you, and pushing you. Latch onto those people, but know that eventually, motivation must come from within.

I wish you luck, I truly believe Crossfit breeds qualities that everyone should strive to have, but there are others way to find them, Crossfit may or may not be how you actually get them.
"Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated."
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Old 03-24-2014, 11:00 AM   #33
Luke Sirakos
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Dallas  TX
Posts: 858
Re: SO Frustrated

It seems to me that CrossFit isn't the problem, it is your physche. In general, people I have met at CrossFit want you to do well and aren't judging your athletic ability but you are probably talking yourself into thinking they are.

When you say that the classes are a bunch of cliques, have you tried becoming friends with those people or are you always waiting on someone to approach you? From the rest of your post I would guess that you are not trying to be friends with the people there because you think they are judging you so instead you are hanging out by yourself.

If you can get over the whole, woe as me attitude, thinking everyone is judging you and just focus on being better today than you were yesterday you will start making more progress and be a happier person.

It might feel like middle school gym class to you but we are not in middle school anymore and most people have matured beyond judging and making fun of others who are different from them.

Use this as a challenge to build a better you physically and mentally. Go up to some people you see regularly at your classes and get to know them. See that they are friendly people who aren't there to judge you. Go to your classes early and/or stay late and work on the skills you need to be better. Do this for a few months with an open mind and then take a look in the mirror, I bet you will see a completely different person. You grow from being challenged, not from everything being perfect and easy.
Deadlift: 475 | Back Squat: 405 | Front Squat: 320
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Old 03-25-2014, 09:22 AM   #34
Chris Ball
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Toronto  ON Canada
Posts: 3
Re: SO Frustrated

For what it's worth I joined Crossfit and found the same thing. Warmups were way harder than what I was used to, and I was frequently the last person in the WOD. I was able to deal with it because I'm not going for Crossfit for affirmation which is I think what far too many people do. Yes, the community is fine, and I like the folks at my gym but I'm not particularly interested in Paleo Challenges, BBQ's, being superfriends etc. I go to my particular Crossfit because I like their location, their equipment and their programming. I get my affirmation from myself, my friends, and my family. I'm not a Crossfitter, I'm a person who uses Crossfit. There is a difference.

You don't get extra points in life from doing Crossfit over another form of programming or sport, or anything else. It's just an ethos, don't let it overshadow the far more important thing; you're exercising for your health.

I do think it's important to do things you aren't tremendously skilled at because being out of you comfort zone is a good prescription for hard self-analysis. Getting a "squat" or a "pull up" is more or less meaningless but the pursuit thereof can be meaningful. Hopefully that wasn't too obtuse.

I'm going to suggest a few things though, and feel free to ignore me.

1. Maybe you need to find a class at your gym that has a few folks like yourself? Ask a coach and I'm sure they'll be able to guide you.

2. Maybe your gym sucks. Some gyms do. Explore your area and find something else, buy a few day passes and see if there's a better crew out there.

3. Maybe Crossfit isn't for you at this stage in your life and that's okay. Maybe a good yoga class to increase your mobility, or a nature walk group to bring up your cardio is better for you.

4. Maybe just workout at home for a bit. Pull a few workouts off the main page or elsewhere, or make a few up and just concentrate on a few movements until you've got them nailed. Save the money you would have spent during this time and eventually go back and get a trainer. Heck, trainers a buck a dozen on Craigslist, so throw them $20 a session and see if they can get you squatting.
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Old 03-25-2014, 01:04 PM   #35
Joel E Cox
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Enfield  CT
Posts: 14
Re: SO Frustrated

We consistently remind our members that we all started somewhere, and make it a point to create an environment where the fittest of the fit are treated no differently than the person who finishes "last" in a WOD. I would hope that your gym has that same type of environment, and that you feel welcome enough to talk to your trainers. Maybe they can suggest class times that might be better, or maybe it might remind them of some messages they need to be delivering to members, or maybe they will look you in the face and tell you that your perception is wrong and you need to get over it...

I don't think your feelings are far off from what many people feel when they first start....the difference will be in what you choose to do with those feelings. Hopefully you talk to your trainers and stick to it.

To be honest, CrossFit like any other thing, isn't "for everybody"...there's no shame in taking a break or reevaluating what you want. IMO nothing beats CrossFit and a good CrossFit affiliate...but as they say - the best exercise for YOU, is the one you will do. Good luck!
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