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Old 11-30-2012, 03:29 PM   #41
Nik Nichols
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.

Q: Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A: It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.


Happy Friday!
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Old 11-30-2012, 06:57 PM   #42
Brad Allen Jones
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

Nik, those weren't bar jokes!!

A christian and an atheist walk into a bar. They proceed to have a few drinks and enjoy each other’s company because they’re not pretentious *******s.
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Old 12-03-2012, 09:31 AM   #43
Nik Nichols
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

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Originally Posted by Brad Allen Jones View Post
Nik, those weren't bar jokes!!

A christian and an atheist walk into a bar. They proceed to have a few drinks and enjoy each other’s company because they’re not pretentious *******s.
I can do that. And have done that. Well not in a bar but at my house with a great friend of the familly.

I had to throw in the blonde jokes.
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Old 12-04-2012, 04:57 PM   #44
Nik Nichols
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses engine power and the aircraft begins to decent. The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in water, and tells the passengers to remain seated and to keep the doors closed, stating that in emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to get to them. Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over to open the door. The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as long as the doors remain closed?!".
"Of course I heard you", the man replied, "but it's also designed to fly, and look how good that one worked out!!"
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Old 12-05-2012, 02:00 PM   #45
Matthew Swartz
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

Humor isn't paleo.
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Old 12-05-2012, 08:00 PM   #46
Perry Eubank
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

My wife says picking my nose is disgusting. So now I have to do it myself.
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Old 12-06-2012, 10:37 AM   #47
Brad Allen Jones
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

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Originally Posted by Matthew Swartz View Post
Humor isn't paleo.
Damn it, Robb Wolf is the devil.

A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."

"Relax," the bartender says, "give me a five-dollar bill." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in the guy's shirt pocket. "Tell your wife some drunk puked on you and gave you five bucks to have your shirt cleaned."

"Thass a great idea!"

When the drunk gets home his wife answers the door. "Where have you been? What happened to your shirt?"

He tries to put on a sober voice and says, "Relaaax honey, some drunk guy puked on me and gave me five bucks to have my shirt cleaned."

The drunk's wife reaches in his pocket, grabs the money, and says, "There's $10 in here!"

"Oh yeah, he sh*t my pants, too."
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Old 12-07-2012, 03:12 AM   #48
Josh Deets
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

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Originally Posted by Brad Allen Jones View Post
Damn it, Robb Wolf is the devil.

A drunk walks into a bar, orders a shot and and immediately pukes all over his own shirt. "Wha' my gonna do now? My wifez gonna kill me."

"Relax," the bartender says, "give me a five-dollar bill." The bartender folds up the bill and puts it in ......
"Oh yeah, he sh*t my pants, too."
HAHAHAHA!! Nice.


Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve your kind here." So the pieces of string walk out again.

They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar."

So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts.

Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Here, you're not a bit of string, are you?"

The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot"
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Old 12-07-2012, 10:11 AM   #49
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

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Originally Posted by Josh Deets View Post
HAHAHAHA!! Nice.


Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve your kind here." So the pieces of string walk out again.

They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar."

So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts.

Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Here, you're not a bit of string, are you?"

The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot"
Punny!

A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama (or Texas, for you Nik) and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"

"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"

"I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."

The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"
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Old 12-07-2012, 02:11 PM   #50
Nik Nichols
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

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Originally Posted by Brad Allen Jones View Post
Punny!

A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama (or Texas, for you Nik) and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"

"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"

"I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."

The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"
HAHAHA Not cool man, not cool!!
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