CrossFit Discussion Board  

Go Back   CrossFit Discussion Board > CrossFit Forum > Fitness
CrossFit Home Forum Site Rules CrossFit FAQ Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Fitness Theory and Practice. CrossFit's rationale & foundations. Who is fit? What is fitness?

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-16-2007, 11:32 AM   #1
Joe Gasparre
Member Joe Gasparre is offline
 
Joe Gasparre's Avatar
 
Profile:
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Lake Grove  New York
Posts: 86
Need help with My Brother.

I think this is the right forum. I hope it is cause I need advise. My brother is 15 years old, he's still only 5ft 2 inches and about 140-150 pounds. He eats garbage all day and has no will power at all. I'm trying to do everything I can to get him to workout with me once, but he acts like a baby every time I ask him to try. He goes "Nah it's ok I'm good" and ignores me. I try and tell him that it's going to make him feel better but he just gets annoying and goes "No I'm ok, thanks though." and continues to ignore me and go about his business. I need him to start cause he's outta shape and it's a really big concern. I need to help him. My mom is about to spend a lot of money for a personal trainer, and he is all ready for that. I talked to this trainer and he told me I would be able to do it myself. So my brother just wants to get this "professional help" even though the pro said I could do the same job as he could do. How do I help some one who doesn't want it and has no will power? Does any one have any advise? I would appreciate it greatly.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2007, 11:38 AM   #2
Jay Cohen
Member Jay Cohen is offline
 
Profile:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Sharpsville  PA
Posts: 3,384
Re: Need help with My Brother.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Gasparre View Post
How do I help some one who doesn't want it and has no will power?
You don't, and it might be better that he tries a personal trainer. Give him 2-3 months, see how it goes. Provide plenty of positive motivation and continue your workouts. Once he gets in the groove of working out, he might want to join you. As to diet, talk to his new personal trainer and have him make some suggestions.

I'm not sure that family members are the best to coach other family members. If you have an Affiliate in the area, invite him to join you.

At 15, it's a tough sell.

Good luck.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2007, 11:41 AM   #3
Luke Rossmo
Member Luke Rossmo is offline
 
Profile:
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Regina  SK
Posts: 294
Re: Need help with My Brother.

You can't help people who do not want to be helped. The best thing you can do for your brother is to keep up the exersice yourself and lead by example. Keep inviting him to come work out with you. When he sees the results your achieving he just may say yes one day.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2007, 11:43 AM   #4
Joe Gasparre
Member Joe Gasparre is offline
 
Joe Gasparre's Avatar
 
Profile:
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Lake Grove  New York
Posts: 86
Re: Need help with My Brother.

Yeah I figured I wouldn't be able to help him. But I will keep inviting him out. Hopefully he will change soon.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2007, 12:09 PM   #5
Becca Borawski
Affiliate Becca Borawski is offline
 
Becca Borawski's Avatar
 
Profile:
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Portland  OR
Posts: 1,231
Re: Need help with My Brother.

I've found the best thing with family members is to lead by example -- if they see you happy, healthy and full of energy, when they are ready they will start asking what you're doing or if they can join you.

If your brother is 15 years old how is he getting hold of the junk he's eating all day?
__________________
Becca Borawski
Managing Editor - www.breakingmuscle.com

www.crossfitla.com -- www.modernathena.com -- www.nerdjockprincess.com
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2007, 12:11 PM   #6
Elliot Fuller
Member Elliot Fuller is offline
 
Elliot Fuller's Avatar
 
Profile:
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Phoenix  AZ
Posts: 1,324
Re: Need help with My Brother.

Young people like that are especially stubborn and don't look at the big picture usually. I'm sure you're not alone, but consider yourself fortunate that he's willing to get help from SOMEWHERE at least. The money spent on the trainer may be the best thing for him if that's what gets him motivated to start taking care of himself. It's all about breaking the ice, and unfortunately that's no easy task.

Kind of reminds me of a Futurama episode I saw a long time ago:

Mother: Billy, do you want to walk your dog?
Billy: No thanks, mom, I'd rather make out with my Monroebot.
Father: Billy, do you to get a paper out and make some extra cash?
Billy: No thanks, dad, I'd rather make out with my Monroebot.
Girl: Billy, do you want to come over tonight, we could make out together.
Billy: Gee, Mavis, your house is across the street. It's an awfully long way to go for making out.

For some it's just not an active interest, and like everyone else has said, the best thing you can do is lead by example and hope he takes the bait. It's too bad that so many kids in the world lead this kind of life without any real motivation to get better. And usually that sort of motivation only comes when they're 30 years old and suffer their first heart attack.

I know this may sound like a shallow suggestion, but with all of those raging hormones, it might work just great. If your brother has any friends or even better, girl friends, who you are friendly enough to ask to come work out with you, maybe get a group of your friends and his friends together, or something, and hit up an affiliate, or a park, and do Cindy or something. People are much more easily motivated by their friends than their family ... I know I was. And if at 15 years old, you'd told me that Mary Jean, the girl next door, wanted to go workout, come hell or high water, you'd bet I'd be doing it too.

Again, consider yourself lucky that he's willing to make the first step. Just make sure it's not a cop-out, because I know plenty kids who would take the personal trainer, chew up their advice, then come home and play video games all day. It NEEDS to be an active interest and not just something he's doing to make mom shut up.

Best of luck
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2007, 12:12 PM   #7
Elliot Fuller
Member Elliot Fuller is offline
 
Elliot Fuller's Avatar
 
Profile:
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Phoenix  AZ
Posts: 1,324
Re: Need help with My Brother.

Also, Becca makes a terrific point.

Make sure that everyone in your family is not enabling the poor lifestyle. Get your mom to start shopping Paleo
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2007, 01:18 PM   #8
Ronald Baer
Member Ronald Baer is offline
 
Ronald Baer's Avatar
 
Profile:
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Greensboro  NC
Posts: 21
Re: Need help with My Brother.

I'd also agree with Jay. If he's willing to do the personal trainer let him go for a couple months and get a flavor for feeling active. He'll then be more likely to join you.

It's been my experience with training family that you not only scale the workouts accordingly, but help encourage. If you're planning on working out together maybe scale the weights heavier than usual for yourself, allowing him to get a better time. Plus, letting him see you suffer and still finish could be good encouragement. I recently had one of the people I train ask to come and watch me doing a workout. They enjoyed cheering me on, and REALLY enjoyed seeing me suffer too.
__________________
“One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar” – Helen Keller
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2007, 01:38 PM   #9
Emily Mattes
Member Emily Mattes is offline
 
Profile:
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Baltimore  MD
Posts: 1,015
Re: Need help with My Brother.

Your brother's refusal to work out probably doesn't have so much to do with him being lazy as you being his brother. Not you in particular, just the "brother" status. In general people, especially when teenagers, don't take kindly to what they perceive as lectures from their siblings. For instance, if at that age my brother told me to stop watching television, I would promptly watch more television. And if I told him to go work out, he would be even more adamant about not working out. If your brother was all "Joe, you would be a better person if you wrote to Grandma every week/did more dishes/studied more/etc," you probably wouldn't be thrilled about following his advice either.

Let him have the personal trainer. It's not as practical or financially sound, but if your first priority is getting him active and nothing else, it is way more likely to work than your efforts.
  Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2007, 02:03 PM   #10
Austin Peck
Member Austin Peck is offline
 
Austin Peck's Avatar
 
Profile:
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Palmdale  Ca
Posts: 134
Re: Need help with My Brother.

Like a lot of people have said, all you can really do is keep doing it for yourself and hope he sees the benefits.

I think getting some girls to come with you (especially ones you know he might like, or that he is close to or something) might help, but I think there is a small chance it could fail if he is either shy about it, or feels too self conscious to work out in front of said female/s. This being said, you could always say that said female is wondering why he isn't working out with them and that she wants to have him come, or have her ask him herself. This may at least encourage him to start working out with you to get to a point where he feels confident enough to workout in front of her.

BUT I think the best option would be to let him get started with the personal trainer for a month or so before you start pressuring him into working out with you and any girls that might persuade him. That should be more effective to get him to come work out with you once he has already started building some confidence and getting in a little better shape. Like people have said before, consider yourself lucky that he is willing to give the trainer a shot at least. A lot of people won't even do that. Family (and in my experience, boyfriends lol) aren't always the best option to get someone started. It does suck that you are going to have to spend the money, at least initially, on the trainer...but if you ask me it will be well worth it if it improves the chances that it works.

And, referring to the fact that you should just keep it up and hope he notices, you better be keeping it up for your own good, not purely his. Because a lot of people I am close with have started to resent me for the fact that I have been starting to eat healthier and pay more attention to my fitness...Which can make it A LOT harder on you...really sucks actually lol. But like I said, I am doing it for me first, and to try and help anyone else second...selfish, but if that weren't how I looked at it I might not be doing it anymore...

Last edited by Austin Peck : 12-16-2007 at 02:04 PM. Reason: typo
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Helping my brother Daniel Travis Phillips Exercises 2 07-15-2007 10:52 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:53 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
CrossFit is a registered trademark of CrossFit Inc.