Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

[Steve Price]

This thread is far more entertaining than any 'star wars kid' or 'i like turtles' or any other viral video on the net.

I just have to send this link to my friends - CF and non-CF alike.

Thank you all for the entertainment. And thanks to Rip for the sound, frank delivery of valuable information.

I'm off to buy some whole milk.

[Dave Re]

I was shooting photos for CrossFit Central's Fittest Games Challenge #2, which was a CrossFit Total event. (both links wfs) Rip was judging the event, of course. The squat and press were done in a rack facing towards the back of the venue, and I'd set up a remote camera in front of the platform so that I could shoot pictures from that position without danger of moving or disturbing someone (really wasn't an issue in the end, but... anyway...).

So, they decide to remove the rack and turn the lifter around for the deadlift. I quickly move to start relocating my remote camera, so that I can get it ready before the event starts - I try to be as unobtrusive as possible at these sorts of things, so I was just trying to hurry, etc... Well, one of the folks with CrossFit Central (who was trying to be helpful) says to Coach "Hang on a minute, Dave has to move his camera...". Oh, how I cringed at those words

Coach looks over and says "Has to move a camera? You G** D****d paparazzi, you killed Princess Diana! You're the reason she's dead!" I wasn't exactly certain whether I should laugh like hell, or die on the spot Probably both....

[Petr Ruzicka]

On Barbell Cert. in San Diego
Rip :"You need to drink one gallon of full fat milk everyday. It's almost mandatory".
Somebody from audience :"I'm lactose intolerant, could I substitute milk for yogurt?"
Rip :"Gallon of yogurt".

[David Gessen]

From the 1st book:

"It is not necessary to bump the shins with the bar, or dig a ditch in the shints on the way up. Good control of the weight is necessary to avoid this, and it should be avoided or sores get established on the shins that will be a problem for a long time - every time the trainee deadlifts he will break the sore open and make a big mess on his socks or worse , the bar."


HAHAHAHAHA

[Paul McKirdy]

And now the fart jokes on squats and flatulence:

"Your technique, when done silently, is referred to as Cropdusting. It makes me happy when this is done in the proper context, and your judgement here seems to be sound. You'll get used to the milk, and if you don't you'll still have hours of fun in your new sport. I am unaware of any diurnal flatulence variability."

"I strongly advise against intentionally farting whilst moving heavy weights. Sometimes -- especially under those circumstances -- farts have a solid center."

I almost choked when I first read this. If it has been posted already I think this another worth repeating hahaha!

[Warren C Ellison]

Found this on an affiliate website: (Don't know the context)

This makes me want to punch those able body people that ride around in those motorized shopping carts because they are to fat to walk to the Oreo isle under their own power.

"Most of the problems with the bodies and minds of the folks occupying the current culture involve an unwillingness to do anything hard, or anything that they'd rather not do. I applaud your resolve, and I welcome you to the community of people who have decided that EASY will no longer suffice".

[Frederic Giraud]

Freshly read about "studies linking ibuprofen/fish oil with hypertrophy suppression" :

Originally Posted by Mark Rippetoe

If you are so inflamed that you can't train, and ibuprofen and fish oil help with inflammation, maybe you'd better take the ****ing ibuprofen and fish oil.

Thank god such a man exist!

[Robert Newman]

Hahaha I shed a few tears reading these. Best thread EVER

We're such Rip nerds

[David Gessen]

http://************.net/forum/showthread.php?t=1805
WFS


check this one, hahaha about wearing gloves


HILERIOUS!

[Jamie J. Skibicki]

The guy with the gloves only has 3 posts on that board, I thin the Rip one was his second. This is what happens when you don't read the book. He's also wearing sneakers in the video, it's pretty bad all around.

A bodybuilding quote

If you want to look like a bodybuilder, that's fine with me. That is a matter for you to discuss with your God and your psychologist

And another, this one is not by Rip, but still
"In natural BBing the judges would rather the competitors look like they just got back from the Bataan Death March as long as they have striated "glute/ham tie-ins" and veins in their lower abs. This leads to excessively long periods of diet and cardio which pretty much guarantees the wasting away of any appreciable muscle mass gains made over the year. Part of the reason why it is such a ****ed up sport....that and the fact that they are on a stage in tanning oil, flexing and rubbing up against other men in tanning oil who are also flexing, in order for a third group of men to tell them that they look good in their underwear."