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Old 04-06-2009, 04:35 PM   #241
Tim McFarland
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Re: Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

Question:
In your professional opinion, should the glutes or the hamstrings be the dominant muscles used for pelvic thrusting during sex?

This is obviously completely ridiculous, but now that it's occurred to me I can't stop freaking wondering about it...

Answer:
I find it quite hard to believe that this could possibly be relevant to your situation, Brandon. You're obviously just interested in this from a theoretical standpoint. It has been my experience that the glutes and hamstrings work together quite well, in just about every situation.
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Old 04-06-2009, 10:13 PM   #242
Jim Brikman
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Re: Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

I just spent a good hour going through this thread and laughing my *** off. Great stuff.

Also, this thread (w/f/s) contains some absolute gems from Rip and a few others that nearly killed me. Here are a few of the best excerpts:

Quote:
Original post, by Lu

You are no doubt the best strength coach I know of, but unfortunately your messy writing keeps me scratching my head: after going through both your books Starting Strength and and Practical Programming for Strength Training (which I bought expensively overseas) I still cannot put together a complete novice schedule that I can use for my training without stressing guesswork. Talk about "practical" programming!
Quote:
Mark Rippetoe

Yes, you're absolutely right, the books are so disorganized as to be all but unusable, especially in the absence of the ability to exercise one's own judgement and apply a bit of common sense. Please e-mail me your mailing address and I shall refund all of your money, including shipping, you ****ing idiot.
Quote:
Shahala

OK, this is the resolution for your issue.
You will need the following items in front of you:
1. Yellow Marker
2. A pen - either gloomy black or attention seeking screaming red.
3. SS:BBT - the book.
4. Nude women on a card of some sort.

Now we can begin.
1. Open page 289 of SS:BBT.
2. Using your yellow marker, highlight table 8-1.
3. Using your gloomy black or attention seeking red pen draw an asterisk near the table.
4. Draw an asterisk in the bottom of the page.
5. Write this adjacent to the asterisk : Please do the goddamn thing.
6. Place the card in the gap between pages 288 and 289 - close the book.

Good luck.
Quote:
KC7

Yes, I think I understand your rationale. Why take the advice that has been laboriously refined through decades of experience when you could ask one of the other novices to recommend a program?

I can appreciate your need for a novice program that provides all of the necessary minutiae. I too started with SS and quickly became frustrated with all of my new muscle, enhanced technique, and greater understanding of exercise physiology. The following is the program that I recently switched to with results that you might call 'interesting':

Monday
-15 min Elliptical
-3x10 of the 'Vagina' machines. (I don't know the names of the muscles being worked but basically you push your knees in on one machine and out on the other. You may get some looks from other guys and occasionally you'll have to work in with other women but it works great!)

Tuesday
-15 min Stairmaster (but not too fast)
-5 pushups

Wednesday
-Rest Day

Thursday
-15 min Slow Walk on Treadmill
-3x10 Lat Raises
-3x10 Preacher Curls

Friday
-Water Aerobics (let me know if you're going to do these in your own pool and I'll send you the DVD)

Saturday
-Rest Day

Sunday
-Rest Day

Let me know how this works out for you. I guarantee that if you follow it precisely that in a few months you will in fact be a complete novice.
Quote:
Gant Grimes

Specialized novice program:

A day:
Punch yourself in the face until you pass out. Alternate hands.

B day:
Kick yourself in the face until you pass out. Alternate legs.


You can do this every day, every other day, twice a day, whatever. You don't even need to warmup, and B day takes care of any flexibility issues.

PS Drink a gallon of milk directly before working out.
Quote:
Draco

Workout A:
Jerk and Clean (right hand)
Kegels (squeeze hard on every rep)

Workout B:
Jerk and Clean (left hand)
Fruit Basket (tuck it in as far back as possible)

When you can successfully Jerk for 20 minutes, begin microloading by attaching collars to the scrotum.

Last edited by Jim Brikman : 04-06-2009 at 10:15 PM.
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Old 04-07-2009, 06:58 AM   #243
Bruce Duco
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Re: Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

Rip answering a question about hypertrophy training and strength loss. I think his answer, at least for me, sums up how most of us discovered Crossfit... at least for me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UnBalanced
Further, in your opinion, does pursuing hypertrophy necessarily come at a price to strength and/or strength increases?
Quote:
This is a much more important question. Pursuing hypertrophy as a primary goal comes at a much higher price than the sacrifice of strength. It means that you have traded the ability to DO for the APPEARANCE OF BEING ABLE TO DO. Now don't get me wrong: most people that start training and stay with it did so at first because of a concern for their appearance. Nobody actively seeks to physically look like sh*t. But most people grow out of this as a primary motivation pretty quickly, as soon as they have to deal with actual competitive bodybuilders and their odd neuroses. Think about it just a second -- why would a normally adjusted person train that hard and diet that hard for the sole purpose of showing other people a particular version of their appearance? One that is transient, unnatural, and incompatible with a useful physical performance? Wanting to be bigger is perfectly natural for men that aren't big, because they know that bigger is stronger and stronger is better. But to make hypertrophy the sole purpose of training is to demonstrate an obsession with the perceptions and reactions of other people.

I saw a guy last year in the Columbus airport after the Arnold with his fitness chick girlfriend. The guy -- big guy, 6' 3", ~285, very lean -- was wearing a skinny tanktop, lycra knee pants, white gym shoes with ankle socks, tanned and I swear to god oiled, carrying his gym bag. In the middle of the airport in March in Ohio. He wanted me and everybody else in the building to see him and his big muscles. I was embarrassed for him, because he completely lacked the sense necessary to be embarrassed himself. And for a second I was embarrassed to be in this business. Just for a second.
http://************.net/forum/showthread.php?t=4546 I'm gonna go out on a limb here, and say that this is NOT WFS
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Old 04-07-2009, 08:52 AM   #244
Stuart Buck
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Re: Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

This is pretty funny, although not sfw with the language: http://************.net/forum/showthread.php?t=4465
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Old 04-19-2009, 05:23 AM   #245
William Jackson
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Re: Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

after watching a video of someone squatting 1000lbsx2
"I think we've seen it here before, but it bears repeating. Mastodon. A useful man indeed."
my sentiments exactly
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Old 04-19-2009, 08:36 AM   #246
Eric Doolittle
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Re: Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

In a thread about the usefulness of yoga for building strength:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Rippetoe
I am thrilled to hear that some asanas are harder than others. Some types of running are harder than others. Certain ballroom dances are real bastards. Tennis can make you very tired. There are board games of varying degrees of difficulty. But they do not constitute a strength program.
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Old 04-29-2009, 12:12 PM   #247
Stuart Buck
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Re: Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

Check out posts 14 and 15 here: http://************.net/forum/showth...?t=4691&page=2 [not wfs for language]
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Old 04-29-2009, 03:37 PM   #248
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Re: Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stuart Buck View Post
Check out posts 14 and 15 here: http://************.net/forum/showth...?t=4691&page=2 [not wfs for language]
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:45 AM   #249
Tom Seryak
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Re: Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

Patrick:
I followed SS and other strength training programs for a few years and eventually tried CF for a couple of months. To me, the average CF participant is a little smarter, a little nicer, a little better prepared for oddball physical tasks, than someone who has trained strength but also a little weaker and less likely to quickly adapt to new things.

I'm left with this impression: I was 'decent' at CrossFit the first time I tried a workout because I was stronger for my weight than someone who had never squatted heavy loads. I got there by drinking a gallon of milk a day (up to the point that it started to make me fat). At the stage I am right now, I do consider sugar to be bad. When I was just beginning to put on mass, sugar was fine. I don't think I'd have gotten here 'cleanly'.

I think the biggest problem is this: wise advice is dispensed with a nuance that is often lost on the people who would benefit the most had they understood it. On one end of the spectrum you have people who apply every utterance literally without any sort of consideration. On the other end of the spectrum are the folks who would tweak each of ten principles if you handed them a training guide that fit on a notecard. The happy medium is the guy who gets what the hell it is a good program is trying to do and understands when and even why to apply the concepts -- even though he wouldn't have thought of it on his own.

GOMAD works for really skinny guys but it makes me fat. CrossFit is most beneficial for strong guys looking to increase all-around physical performance, but it won't make you as useful as a good strength program. Bodybuilding programs are still better for muscle and powerlifting programs are still better for mastering a small selection of really heavy lifts. Maybe I'm naive, but I say learn from them all and you won't train in vain (The Clash rocks).

PS - There is a question that I think ought to be discussed, and it's a big elephant in the room: CrossFit seems to make superstars out of people who are already strong or athletic, but for the mere mortals I hang with... will it make us stronger or faster or more muscular? I have my opinions, but the question is at least worth mulling over.

Rip:
Thoughtful post, Patrick. But I'd have to say that a typical bodybuilding program is the best way to waste time in a gym that has ever been devised.
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Old 07-08-2009, 09:49 AM   #250
Tom Seryak
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Re: Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

Nick:

Which brings me to my second question: Since my hams are very underdeveloped, should I do leg curls besides full squats to bring them up to speed? (I'm squeamish about doing Romanian deadlifts). If so, should I get a bench with a lying leg curl attachment or should I get one of those glute/ham raise contraptions? Thanks, Rip.

Rip:

But I am distressed by your squeamishness in the face of RDLs, a thing which has apparently made you consider using leg ****ing curls in a perfectly good barbell training program. Tell me, why does the prospect of RDLs elevate your estrogen levels?
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