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Fitness Theory and Practice. CrossFit's rationale & foundations. Who is fit? What is fitness?

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Old 05-05-2008, 12:08 PM   #11
Elliot Fuller
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Re: girlfriend help

All are good suggestions so far.

1.) This has been asked before, and there are pages and pages of useful replies from the previous threads that you can cater to your own situation.

2.) If she's more concerned with her weight than her fitness, then all she needs to do is adjust her diet. Most overweight women (and men), unless they have a serious, legitimate desire to weigh less and be healthier overall, will shun the Zone, as it "requires too much work in measuring and planning." They are the people who have been sucked in by the propaganda machine which has dictated through TV infomercials that weight loss can be achieved easily, without effort, and even through 1 pill a day.

They are delirious and will never lose their weight until they realize that in order to do so healthily, it will require commitment on their part. Your girlfriend needs to not just want to look healthy, but to BE healthy. There are tons of ways to lose all of her weight (including starvation and annorexia), but none quite so healthy as a seriously researched, supported, and effective diet such as the Zone. She needs to get over the idea of being "on a diet." She needs to change the way she eats, period. For the rest of her life. Zone is not a fad diet. It's not meant to drop weight quickly in time for summer bikini season. It's meant for people who are interested in changing themselves forever.

If your girlfriend's primary goal is weight loss, then she needs to treat it like any other primary goal, and WORK for it. If her primary goal is Graduate School, she will not buy a pill off of the TV and take 1 a day for 30 days, and suddenly have her Master's.

If she cannot commit herself to a healthier lifestyle, which includes a healthy "diet" such as Zone, then she is cheating herself by pretending there is hope on the horizon. Bottom line is, she needs to work to achieve her goals. If her goal involves measuring her food strictly for a few weeks to achieve her end result, then she needs to accept it and put the work towards achieving it.

That will solve the diet crisis and the weight crisis. Do Zone with her and it will make things all the better. Doing anything as challenging as completely altering one's lifestyle/eating habits is always a lot easier with someone doing it with you in a role of mutual support.

2.) If she wants to be healthier and not just thinner (although thinner certainly is healthier than fatter), then she'll need to include an effective exercise regimen. CrossFit is great. But there are other ways for someone in her situation to get into the swing of things. CrossFit isn't for everyone right off the bat.

Take the offers regarding the affiliate visits. Show her other people have done it. Show her that SKINNY is not always the same as HEALTHY. Get her into a supportive environment like at an affiliate. She can do SimpleFit workouts at an affiliate just as easily as she can do CrossFit WODs, and SimpleFit ones don't look quite as daunting to the beginner, but they are an EXCELLENT entryway into the world of CrossFit, and even doing SimpleFit, she's going to be leaps and bounds ahead of where she is now.

3.) The bottom line is that if she wants to change herself, she needs to reverse the effects of her lifestyle over the last however-many years. This is not a change that comes overnight, despite what the TV and fashion magazines will tell her. She needs to change the way she lives and eats for the rest of her life if she wants to get healthy and stay healthy. It's really very simple.

If she wants to lose weight, change her diet. If she wants to lose weight faster, add exercise. If she wants to lose weight fast, and get more fit, add CrossFit.

As long as she's open to the idea of working towards HER goals (not YOUR goals; she needs to want this change for herself, and not for you, and not for people at the beach) then she's already off to a great start. Don't pressure her into doing it, but encourage her once she shows interest, and offer support when she asks.

Big changes like this can only come from within her, so there's really nothing you can do as far as "getting her to try CrossFit" goes other than lead by example.

I'll save any more rambling, since I'm sure it's all been said in the other threads already and I'm late for work
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Old 05-05-2008, 12:18 PM   #12
Jay Cohen
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Re: girlfriend help


Confirm that you're using Voice Recognition Software or you excelled at Typing 101 in High School???? Your short story replies are always pretty good, but man, that is some serious keyboard action.
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Old 05-05-2008, 12:36 PM   #13
Jenna Dodge
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Re: girlfriend help

Yeah, what they said, and also that women don't have the testosterone levels that are required to get big and muscular and basically look like a man.

On the upside, exercise does slightly elevate testosterone levels in women (and men), and though they aren't elevated enough to make a woman hairy or big or manly, it will likely increase her sex drive - that's always a bonus (for everyone!) I hope they don't moderate me - can I say that sort of stuff?!?

Similarly, we have a woman at my crossfit who is quite overweight but she shows up and works hard to the best of her ability and the results are amazing. Just one more story of success.

Just be encouraging when she shows interest, like what Elliot said. I wish her the best.
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Old 05-05-2008, 01:17 PM   #14
Jason M Struck
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Re: girlfriend help

I feel like for 90% of girlfriends... only Jay Cohen has answered honestly so far.
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Old 05-05-2008, 01:37 PM   #15
Tirzah Harper
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Re: girlfriend help

It won't turn straight into muscle BUT what it will turn into is somewhat determined by genetics. She's not likely to be the next Twiggy, is what I'm saying. Her body is still her body.
Diet first, then exercise.
0 to CrossFit in a week (or even a year, for that matter) would take a truly exceptional person to pull off, and a LOT of determination.
Search for some of Susie Rosenberg's posts.

What does your girlfriend want to do? Is SHE interested in CrossFit, or Zone, or what? If it's not HER drive to do something, it won't happen...even with your support.

All the best!
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Old 05-05-2008, 01:44 PM   #16
Mark Richins
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Re: girlfriend help

The frustrating part is regardless of the program or diet choices she makes, it will take time (perhaps lots of time) before she reaches her desired outcome. Sometimes you just have to be patient and let her decide if/when she wants to make a change in her life. If you drag someone to the gym each day, kicking and screaming, you will see it in the results.
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Old 05-05-2008, 01:50 PM   #17
Georgia Nixon
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Re: girlfriend help

Ronnie - lead by example, be supportive, have only healthy options around and always be quick with the compliments. "Honey, I'm so proud of you and all the work you've put in this week. It's so hot to see you work up a sweat and do something good for yourself."

Also, to help change her perspective on beauty, consider saying nice things about athletic women (i.e. Jessica Biel, Cameron Diaz, Cindy Crawford back in the day/now at 40+, etc.) and shunning the likes of the waifs (Nicole Ritchie, the Olsens, etc.).

Beyond that, there's more behind her weight than just having too many helpings. There are emotional issues that come with peeling off the pounds. Now is a good time to work on that relationship essential, communication.

When all else fails, Jay is right, "Yes, dear" is always the right thing to say. Your life will be sooo much easier.
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Old 05-05-2008, 01:51 PM   #18
Laura Rucker
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Re: girlfriend help

I just do CrossFit, almost 4 years in.

I used to be 171 pounds -- 5 years ago -- and I am 5 foot nuthin.

I have muscle now, I am considerably LESS fat. I weigh around 150, fluctuating.

I don't Zone. But I have dabbled. It does work, I just suck at it.

I'm 42.

I'll PM you the fat pic and the bathing suit pic so you can show your girlfriend realistically what she might look like after a lot of hard work and moderate diet changes. I don't look like Eva or Nicole. I'm just a lot fitter than I used to be and feel great.
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Old 05-05-2008, 02:03 PM   #19
Erin Davidson
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Re: girlfriend help

Originally Posted by Jenna Rettenmayer View Post

On the upside, exercise does slightly elevate testosterone levels in women (and men), and though they aren't elevated enough to make a woman hairy or big or manly, it will likely increase her sex drive - that's always a bonus (for everyone!) I hope they don't moderate me - can I say that sort of stuff?!?
HA. Yes. Say this kind of stuff.
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Old 05-05-2008, 02:36 PM   #20
Darren Zega
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Re: girlfriend help

Jay is the only honest poster here.

The ONLY way you will get her to start excercising is if YOU'RE NOT WITH HER WHILE SHE WORKS OUT.

Let me type that again:

The ONLY way you will get her to start excercising is if YOU'RE NOT WITH HER WHILE SHE WORKS OUT.

Any attempt at encouragement or correction will be interpreted by her as negative criticism - simple fact of life, you can't win that one, sorry.

What you CAN do is get her training at an affiliate WITHOUT YOU THERE. Let her feel like she is improving herself and let her become part of the community on her own terms. Then, AFTER she drinks the col-aid on her own, jump in with her.

Last edited by Darren Zega : 05-05-2008 at 02:42 PM.
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