girlfriend help - Page 4

Erin Davidson · 05-06-2008, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay Curtis

I'm living this thread right now.
My gf however, kinda likes going to the gym, and I've just got her into some SS style freeweights stuff.
I can see what everyone is saying about not coaching your own partner... it is a delicate dance some days, and also slows down my own workout which makes me grumpy.

Unfortunately, she went to the doctor the other day (for a general checkup), who told her she'd be better off doing cardio... Apparently all of my info isn't valid 'cause it comes from the internet! and of course a family doctor will have up to date knowledge on exercise physiology and theory...
"Yes Dear"

As long as I can convince her to keep up some strength work, I'll be happy.

Diet is the big issue though... as we live with her parents, and her mother has an almost compulsive urge to cook, and cook, and cook... and it all tastes sooo good!

Hearing other peoples stories is always helpful.

thanks

J

You tell her there are doctors, pre-med students on this forum?

Sigh. Sorry...it just frustrates me too.

Micah Tanner · 05-06-2008, 05:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blair Robert Lowe

Mirza, can I use this term " chick logic " without paying you 10 cents per use?

<in robot voice> "chick logic"...errrrrrrr...does not compute...<head explodes>

"chick logic" is more of an oxymoron than "emotional dude".

Rebekah Kehm · 05-06-2008, 05:40 AM

If you are truly wanting her to try it out without scaring her off, have her come in to the gym and have other females talk to her, show her an EASY beginning work out, and explain to her how much fun crossfit can be. If a guy came up to me and asked me to talk to his wife/girlfriend about crossfit, I would do it in a heartbeat! See if you can find a female who has dealt with weight issues that she can relate to.

I think if it is from a female perspective, she may not be as intimidated. I was completely intimidated until I just walked in. Once I was in the door, the rest was history. Ok, so I have only been doing crossfit a month, but it feels way longer than that! It also helped that 2 of the 3 crossfit coaches were females, so I felt like I could relate to them better.

Just ease her into it. Get her in the door. That always helps.

(A couple of the responses are a little bit rude, unsupportive, and a little unnecessary to be honest.

We should be supporting each other and giving each other constructive advice and criticism, not berating each other and loved ones. We should be accepting everyone with open arms and showing them truly how badass crossfit is and how it can help everyone!)

Rebekah Kehm · 05-06-2008, 05:52 AM

ALSO...

One thing people need to realize; being obese or overweight isn't 100% about getting off the couch and eating more vegetables. There is something rooted deeper than food. Being overweight is a just a side effect of some emotional issues. I know this message board is all about fitness and nutrition, but taking care of our emotional well-being is just as important.

See if you can help your girlfriend emotionally as well. Does she need any counseling? Does she need to talk to anyone? Is there anything you can do to support her emotionally?

Georgia Nixon · 05-06-2008, 06:21 AM

Rebekah - you really said it! Thanks for hitting the nail on the head.

This "chick logic" poo that y'all are so excited to claim is the reason behind the madness, well, it's poppycock. Yeah, it stings a little when your partner tells you that you're getting fluffy but you know what, it's the best motivation in the world to take that first step towards health. Besides, men get just as defensive about their appearance/weight so let's stop this chick logic stuff. OK? OK!

Lucas Allmon · 05-06-2008, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rebekah Kehm

ALSO...

One thing people need to realize; being obese or overweight isn't 100% about getting off the couch and eating more vegetables. There is something rooted deeper than food. Being overweight is a just a side effect of some emotional issues. I know this message board is all about fitness and nutrition, but taking care of our emotional well-being is just as important.

See if you can help your girlfriend emotionally as well. Does she need any counseling? Does she need to talk to anyone? Is there anything you can do to support her emotionally?

I agree with this. "As Within, So Without."

My GF is the same way as the OP. She is overweight and talks about how she wants to lose weight, but does absolutely nothing about it. Nothing. She wont modify any part of her lifestyle, and it really saddens me.

In my opinion, all you can really do is invite her to come to crossfit/go for a bike ride/swim/walk/etc whenever you do, and if she says no, let it go. Only ask once each time. You can't make people change, they have to decide that they don't like where they are.

It's too much of a struggle to "convince" people. Once you convince them to get off the couch, then you have to convince them to go, then you have to convince them to lift the weight, and again, and again, then convince them to finish, then convince them to beat their times.

It's exhausting and not worth it because as soon as you stop convincing, they stop doing.

Which is why the 6 people I took to CrossFit have never come back.

Jamie J. Skibicki · 05-06-2008, 07:30 AM

The few girlfriends I took to the gym I treated just like anyone else I took. If they messed up, I let them know it, when they did the right thing, I let them know it. THere was no extra coddling, no lovey dovey, I ain;t got time for that now. It's not a party, it's not a disco, this ain;t no foolin around.

When you go to the gym, you get to be her boyfriend or her trainer, not both. Pick one and go with it. To quote mr Miagi "Walk left side;safe. Walk right side; safe. Walk middle; squish, just like grape"

Patrick Haskell · 05-06-2008, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay Curtis

My gf however, kinda likes going to the gym, and I've just got her into some SS style freeweights stuff.
I can see what everyone is saying about not coaching your own partner... it is a delicate dance some days, and also slows down my own workout which makes me grumpy.

Unfortunately, she went to the doctor the other day (for a general checkup), who told her she'd be better off doing cardio...

Have her do a Cindy with jumping pullups and/or bench/wall pushups, as necessary. She'll get her doctor-recommended 20 minutes of cardio without weights, and as she lays down in her post-Cindy fog, she'll realize that the cardio work she gets on the eliptical/bike/jogging is paltry compared to high-intensity CF-type workouts (which would include spinning, running [distinct from jogging] and host of other more mainstream exercises). After she gets up-to-strength with the freeweights, throw in a Fran, Helen, etc. She'll catch on that cardiovascular conditioning is integral to CF.

Susie Rosenberg · 05-06-2008, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessica Lasky

Hey Ronald,

Have her checkout my local affiliate's website-www.albanycrossfit.com. There are a lot of overweight woman that have started going there and we have another trainer-Sue, who has lost over 100lbs and kept it off, her profile is on there. It might just be helpful for her to see other woman doing it-you have to start somewhere!

Hehehehe....you should see the one that got away.....

Just to be accurate, I've lost almost 100 lbs....about 90 lbs. as of last WI.

To the OP: she has to get moving, faster and faster, and start lifting, heavier and heavier on a consistent basis.

I didn't blow up with muscles like a man. I got lean and strong and fast.

Susie

Brian Bedell · 05-06-2008, 08:13 AM

Been lurking this thread for a bit, and about to get bashed, but...I generally find it easier to get a new gf then to make/help my existing gf to lose weight. Someone is only going to lose weight if they want to, not if you want them to.

05-06-2008, 05:40 AM	#33
Rebekah Kehm Member Profile: Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Oak Harbor WA Posts: 12	Re: girlfriend help If you are truly wanting her to try it out without scaring her off, have her come in to the gym and have other females talk to her, show her an EASY beginning work out, and explain to her how much fun crossfit can be. If a guy came up to me and asked me to talk to his wife/girlfriend about crossfit, I would do it in a heartbeat! See if you can find a female who has dealt with weight issues that she can relate to. I think if it is from a female perspective, she may not be as intimidated. I was completely intimidated until I just walked in. Once I was in the door, the rest was history. Ok, so I have only been doing crossfit a month, but it feels way longer than that! It also helped that 2 of the 3 crossfit coaches were females, so I felt like I could relate to them better. Just ease her into it. Get her in the door. That always helps. (A couple of the responses are a little bit rude, unsupportive, and a little unnecessary to be honest. We should be supporting each other and giving each other constructive advice and criticism, not berating each other and loved ones. We should be accepting everyone with open arms and showing them truly how badass crossfit is and how it can help everyone!)

05-06-2008, 05:52 AM	#34
Rebekah Kehm Member Profile: Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Oak Harbor WA Posts: 12	Re: girlfriend help ALSO... One thing people need to realize; being obese or overweight isn't 100% about getting off the couch and eating more vegetables. There is something rooted deeper than food. Being overweight is a just a side effect of some emotional issues. I know this message board is all about fitness and nutrition, but taking care of our emotional well-being is just as important. See if you can help your girlfriend emotionally as well. Does she need any counseling? Does she need to talk to anyone? Is there anything you can do to support her emotionally?

05-06-2008, 06:21 AM	#35
Georgia Nixon Member Profile: Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Arlington VA Posts: 20	Re: girlfriend help Rebekah - you really said it! Thanks for hitting the nail on the head. This "chick logic" poo that y'all are so excited to claim is the reason behind the madness, well, it's poppycock. Yeah, it stings a little when your partner tells you that you're getting fluffy but you know what, it's the best motivation in the world to take that first step towards health. Besides, men get just as defensive about their appearance/weight so let's stop this chick logic stuff. OK? OK!

05-06-2008, 07:30 AM	#37
Jamie J. Skibicki Member Profile: Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Pittsburgh PA Posts: 8,841	Re: girlfriend help The few girlfriends I took to the gym I treated just like anyone else I took. If they messed up, I let them know it, when they did the right thing, I let them know it. THere was no extra coddling, no lovey dovey, I ain;t got time for that now. It's not a party, it's not a disco, this ain;t no foolin around. When you go to the gym, you get to be her boyfriend or her trainer, not both. Pick one and go with it. To quote mr Miagi "Walk left side;safe. Walk right side; safe. Walk middle; squish, just like grape"

05-06-2008, 08:13 AM	#40
Brian Bedell Member Profile: Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Lantana FL Posts: 2,870	Re: girlfriend help Been lurking this thread for a bit, and about to get bashed, but...I generally find it easier to get a new gf then to make/help my existing gf to lose weight. Someone is only going to lose weight if they want to, not if you want them to.

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