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Old 05-05-2008, 02:07 PM   #1
Kirez Reynolds
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on not introducing myself, not being a porn star, etc.

I did my first WOD on January 23rd, so it's been almost 3.5 months now. I've been using these forums since 1st of December -- just over 5 months.

I wasn't so comfortable introducing myself before, but **** it, I'll just state a couple facts and keep it short. I've competed in more than a dozen sports, including running, wrestling and, nominally, gymnastics (I wasn't great, but I competed routines in 5 events, excluding pommel horse which I was never able to do.) I wanted to be a combination gymnast, climber, swimmer, runner and strong as an ox for almost as long as I can remember.

Except -- I remember exactly when I came up with the idea: I was 9 years old, and I listed on paper almost exactly Coach's 10 factors of fitness -- and I said, "this is what athleticism consists of, this is what you should train for. I want to maximize all of these as much as possible." I didn't include accuracy on my list, and I felt "balance" was a corollary of "agility." Otherwise, my list and my concept of fitness were exactly the same, if less developed.

* * * *
When I started CF, I'd quickly tell you pull-ups were a weakness for me. I've had a fight getting access to a bar, but I've largely succeeded and now I can do about 30 kipping PUs in less than 70 seconds.

I've learned of a much more serious weakness I have, which somehow involves explosive opening of the hips. You might not suspect it if you saw my snatch or clean numbers, but it's definitely there; and I could only vertical jump 23" just 9-10 weeks ago, which is where it shows up most clearly. (Haven't measured my v-jump recently.)

Another problem I have -- I have a fear of looking stronger than I actually am, at least by CF standards. I'm strong, but you put me next to some of these CF monsters and they can lift more than me. Any jerk off the street would look at the two of us and put their money on me. :-( I was never a bodybuilder, I've always been a righteous advocate of functional fitness. But I look like a bodybuilder.

* * * *

Oh. Ha --- a while back, in a silly thread on the community forum - "not doing it for the job" (on people's occupations) - I posted a much too dry, tongue-in-cheek post about being "an adult film acting professional". I focused in a serious, analytical bent about the advantages CrossFit gave me. (A-ha, I found it: http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=29264&page=3 )
Yeah, that was a joke. I don't think everyone got it, though. So, for the record, I am not a porn star. I'm an extremely happily married husband. Professionally, I've done writing, editing, business strategy and management consulting, some web development via management consulting, and a lot of following my whims. Unprofessionally, I've hitchhiked most of the way around the world, from Israel to the arctic circle, from Prague across Russia and siberia to Beijing and back, with a 75 lb pack. A lot of people get incredulous if I tell them other parts of the story, 'cause my experience is really broad, so I save it for friends who are smart enough to see my authenticity. I could say, "Hey, read a book like "Overworld" by Larry Kolb. My life has been mundane compared to his."

I'm an intellectual dilettante, but I'm pretty powerful if you scratch the surface of biology-economics-psychology-philosophy with me. If you put a gun to my head and said I had to give a thumbnail summary? I'd say, "human nature, and the facts of human nature which give rise to ethics, economics and patterns of belief." I love evolutionary psychology. I find philosophy embarrassing. I find intellectuals to be absurd, pretentious asshats.

* * * *

My wife and I are opening an affiliate ASAP. Right now we're on the Arabian peninsula in the godawful middle east, and returning to the US in July. I've been out of the US for 2.5 years, and most days I don't want to wait another week. But that's where we're at. Eight more weeks. It makes my adrenaline flow, just thinking of it.

I've registered for the Level 1 Cert at Brand X on July 26-27. We're on our way. Hooyah.
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Old 05-05-2008, 02:31 PM   #2
Brandon Oto
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Re: on not introducing myself, not being a porn star, etc.

I liked you better as a porn star.
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Old 05-05-2008, 02:32 PM   #3
Dave Hancock
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Re: on not introducing myself, not being a porn star, etc.

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I'll just state a couple facts and keep it short.
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Old 05-05-2008, 02:50 PM   #4
Kirez Reynolds
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Re: on not introducing myself, not being a porn star, etc.

Well said, Dave. :-) (OTOH, I guess one man's warm-up is another man's murph.)

Classic, Brandon. You make the forums a better place. Your sig needs update though, I remember it from my first 2-3 days here. same-same!
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Old 05-05-2008, 02:55 PM   #5
Brandon Oto
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Re: on not introducing myself, not being a porn star, etc.

My sig changes all the time. You mean my avatar? I can't be arsed to go pulling stills out of video all the time.
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Old 05-05-2008, 07:17 PM   #6
Daniel Hicker
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Re: on not introducing myself, not being a porn star, etc.

Well, all joking aside, welcome to the boards. You sound way too smart for me, but you also sound like a pretty motivated guy which means you will do well here.
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Old 05-05-2008, 07:37 PM   #7
Derek Maffett
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Re: on not introducing myself, not being a porn star, etc.

Changing avatars takes time and you need to have something cool to replace it with. Unfortunately, it will take me several decades before I'm as good as Gilbert Neville.
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Old 05-05-2008, 08:02 PM   #8
Aaron Trent
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Re: on not introducing myself, not being a porn star, etc.

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Originally Posted by Brandon Oto View Post
I liked you better as a porn star.
QFT, that was a funny post.
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Old 05-05-2008, 08:04 PM   #9
Joe Shininger
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Re: on not introducing myself, not being a porn star, etc.

I'm a porn star.
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Old 05-05-2008, 08:36 PM   #10
Robert D Taylor Jr
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Re: on not introducing myself, not being a porn star, etc.

Kirez,
I'd take any of your listed or implied problems
"I look too strong"
"People think I'm a porn star"
"I'm really smart"
Yup, any one of 'em.
Of course I haven't spent 2.5 years in the Middle East so I've got that going for me which is nice.
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