Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

[Maribel LaLanne]

Jack LaLanne is all for CrossFit. I wish you guys could have been here to hear him speak about it at our Grand Opening Celebration.
LaLanne Fitness-powered by CrossFit, San Francisco.

[Alex Bond]

Jack LaLanne also invented the Smith machine...

[Danielle Benford]

... no! This thread is too funny! Keep up the Rip comments, I love 'em

Just for fun - here's the latest Chuck Norris one I heard at work recently...
"There are no such things as lesbians... they are just women that Chuck Norris hasn't met yet."

[Adam Scheiner]

Originally Posted by Alex Bond

Jack LaLanne also invented the Smith machine...

Yeah he also did, over a thousand pull-ups and push-ups in an hour.

Mr. Lalanne

People, yes Jack Lalanne invented a lot of machines, and yes a ton of them are hated in this program, but in case you don't know who he is(and you should really really find out), Jack Lalanne is the original badass fitness guy, end of story. Now give me more funny Rip quotes, POST HASTE!

[Maribel LaLanne]

Love it Adam!

Maribel LaLanne

[Adam Scheiner]

Originally Posted by Maribel LaLanne

Love it Adam!

Maribel LaLanne

Does this mean I will be sent the awesome purple suit?

[Brandon Head]

From Starting Strength about grip:

"If you insist on using a thumbless grip on the bench, you need to do it at home, so that when the ambulance comes (if anyone is there to call 911) it doesn't disrupt anyone else's training."

[Michael Cooley]

Originally Posted by Darren Zega

I think we need to start the Chuck Norris jokes with Rip.

Who let the dogs out?

Coach Rip let the dogs out.

That's who.

[David Wood]

Originally Posted by Darren Zega

I think we need to start the Chuck Norris jokes with Rip.

Originally Posted by Michael Cooley

Who let the dogs out?

Coach Rip let the dogs out.

That's who.

Uh, no. We don't. Seriously, the Chuck Norris joke thing is soooo overdone.

The wisdom of Rippetoe, please. That's more than enough.

[Jason David]

Originally Posted by Paul McKirdy

And now the fart jokes on squats and flatulence:

"Your technique, when done silently, is referred to as Cropdusting. It makes me happy when this is done in the proper context, and your judgement here seems to be sound. You'll get used to the milk, and if you don't you'll still have hours of fun in your new sport. I am unaware of any diurnal flatulence variability."

"I strongly advise against intentionally farting whilst moving heavy weights. Sometimes -- especially under those circumstances -- farts have a solid center."

I almost choked when I first read this. If it has been posted already I think this another worth repeating hahaha!

I have tears in my eyes right now!!! SOLID CENTER!!??? OMG!