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Old 03-15-2007, 12:44 PM   #1
Daniel Fannin
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Hello!

I've been asked to feature Crossfit in the base newspaper over here at Tinker. A photographer is going to come out and photograph a PT session with the squadron. They've also asked me to write a brief article.
Anyone mind proofreading for accuracy? Any suggestions? All comments are welcome, and appreciated! Thanks!

Rough draft:

Hello! My name is SSgt Daniel Fannin and I am assigned to the ****** here at Tinker. My primary duties now are ******, but soon I will transition into a more physically challenging AFSC. To prepare for these challenges, I practice a physical regiment known as Crossfit from the website www.crossfit.com.
What is Crossfit? Here it is described in the creator’s own words:
“CrossFit is the principal strength and conditioning program for many police academies and tactical operations teams, military special operations units, champion martial artists, and hundreds of other elite and professional athletes worldwide.
Our program delivers a fitness that is, by design, broad, general, and inclusive. Our specialty is not specializing. Combat, survival, many sports, and life reward this kind of fitness and, on average, punish the specialist.
The CrossFit program is designed for universal scalability making it the perfect application for any committed individual regardless of experience. We’ve used our same routines for elderly individuals with heart disease and cage fighters one month out from televised bouts. We scale load and intensity; we don’t change programs.”
In the past two years that I’ve been doing Crossfit I’ve noticed tremendous gains in strength, speed, endurance and overall fitness. Usually I just follow the directions on the main page, known as the Workout of the Day, and do a few extra miles of running each week. For squadron PT I focus on easily learned and basic skills like running, jumping, pressing, pulling, coordination and dexterity.
Come drink the Kool-Aid!

SSgt Daniel Fannin
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Old 03-15-2007, 01:50 PM   #2
Jonathan Rich
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"Come drink the Kool-Aid!" :rofl:

That always make me laugh.
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Old 03-15-2007, 09:30 PM   #3
Peter Kelly
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Typo: regiment should be regimen
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Old 03-16-2007, 02:04 AM   #4
Samuel Redwine
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Thoughts,

1. Come drink the Kool-Aid is going to be a reference most people won't catch.

2. Newspapers have limited space, check on how long they want it. Get a word and/or character limit. Better to abridge or lengthen your work yourself rather than some copy editor.
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Old 03-16-2007, 05:45 AM   #5
Frank DiMeo
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Daniel, I've been writing a fitness column for our local newspaper each month for about 18 months now.
Overall, you article looks good.
The "Kool-Aid", though fun for us, will confuse your readers.
Most of the articles I write are about 350 words or so (which are the editors guidelines).
Best of success to you with your article!
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Old 03-16-2007, 06:10 AM   #6
Daniel Fannin
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Thanks for the inputs! I turned it in, and the Kool-Aid comment was edited out.

:sad:

Oh well. I tried! :-)

Just glad it's going there...hopefully things will change even more than they already are!
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Old 03-17-2007, 03:40 AM   #7
Samuel Redwine
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Could you post a copy of the finished product? I'd like to see what the editors left you with.
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Old 03-20-2007, 10:31 AM   #8
Daniel Fannin
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As requested, a couple of things edited just because this is the net:

New program helps work force get in shape


A new Crossfit training program at Tinker is helping those who want to get in shape do so.
What is Crossfit?
In the creator’s words, CrossFit is the principal strength and conditioning program for many police academies and tactical operations teams, military special operations units, champion martial artists, and hundreds of other elite and professional athletes worldwide.
The program delivers a fitness that is, by design, broad, general and inclusive, and “specializes in not specializing.” Combat, survival, many sports, and life reward this kind of fitness and, on average, punish the specialist.
The CrossFit program is designed for universal scalability, making it the perfect application for any committed individual regardless of experience.
The dedicated programmers of the regiment put hours of work into writing a program that works every muscle group, applies a good cardio workout and is randomized enough that the body has to consistently adapt to each challenge.
Physical training leader, Staff Sgt. Daniel Fannin with the ****** here at Tinker, is a follower of those dedicated programmers.
His primary duties are to instruct ****. To prepare for upcoming challenges and to help his fellow wingmen achieve high PT scores, he practices the physical regimen known as Crossfit as seen on the Web site www.crossfit.com.
“For those who already partake, this program has increased our overall fitness level in dramatic ways that we haven’t seen before,” Sgt. Fannin said.
For more information about the Crossfit program, call Sgt. Fannin at ******.
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