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Old 09-23-2013, 10:49 AM   #1
Jeff Higgins
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Lack of Motivation

I'm struggling...

I'm new to Crossfit and weigh 360lbs, which is not a good combination. Orientation was last Tuesday. I was pushing myself so hard (for me anyway), and then I ended up making a dumb mistake and straining my back. While that's healing quite quickly to my surprise, I'm losing motivation.

I'm kind of scared to go back. Scared of the pain, scared of the embarassment I feel inside when I can't do what I feel like I should be able to. The injury, I suppose I'm a little scared of reinjuring myself, but I can't blame it on that.

I think I'm just starting to get lazy again, and making up excuses. I feel like the laziest person on the planet.

I think I just need to get back tomorrow and get a workout in, maybe that will motivate me again...

It's just such a long road from 360lbs, it feels too overwhelming. Before a very bad snowmobile accident, I'd went from 330lbs to 215lbs and felt so great. I can't believe I've let myself fall this far.

I kind of feel like giving up, even though logically that's not the right thing, and it's not going to happen.

I'm just tired...I haven't been eating hardly any carbs either, which I probably should do to increase my mood. On top of all the other problems, I have bipolar and social anxiety disorders that make it that much tougher with moods and with convincing myself to go to the gym (lots of people, scary).

Anyway, I just figured I would get all this out somewhere, no one to talk to here except myself, figured I would just put it out there and see if it helped work through some of my issues...

Thanks if you've actually read this, you're a masochist for reading through the drivel, but I appreciate it!
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Old 09-23-2013, 11:08 AM   #2
Kelly Sabey
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Re: Lack of Motivation

Hi Jeff,

I'm relatively new to CrossFit as well, so I know how you feel. I have to be at work pretty early, so my workouts usually start around 5:30 AM (woof). One thing I always think about when I'm getting ready to head to the gym (be it Cross Fit, Soul Cycle, or even just to Central Park for a quick jog) is that I have never once regretted getting up and going. I have, however, almost always regretted not going. Getting yourself there is the hard part. Stop thinking about it and get out there. As cheesy as it sounds, you'll be kicking the crap out of everyone who is still in bed and/or on the couch.
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Old 09-23-2013, 11:43 AM   #3
Ben H Young
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Re: Lack of Motivation

Jeff,

I had a similar problem when I first started. Feet and knees were terribly inflamed due to shoes with to much of a heel. Had to take a couple of weeks off and go see a Dr. WOD'd for a couple of weeks and flared up again. Had to take another couple of weeks off. Kept pulling muscles in my back due to bad back alignment. Another couple of weeks off. As you can see here, I kinda know what you mean.
Stretch it out and get back to it. See if you can find a foam roller, and roll your back. Maybe even ask a coach if you can modify the WOD so you can still WOD. Just keep it at it. Make sure you're stretching every day, and don't be affraid to scale. Listen to your body. At first you might only be able to do 2 -3 days a week, then 3-4, and eventually 4-5 and so on. You will get back to your box, you will get stronger, and you will see results.
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Old 09-23-2013, 01:00 PM   #4
Mark E. Wallace
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Re: Lack of Motivation

I think that the best advice I can give (and this'll be one of those rare times when my advice is actually usable) is to take your eyes off of the road far in front of you and put them on the road right in front of you.

From 360# to 215# is a long road indeed, and it is only natural that a 145# margin is going to intimidate you and make you think about how hard it is going to be to get there.

So stop it.

Set small, achievable, measurable, and rewardable goals. Jump rope 100 times in a row without stopping within a week. Get from 360# to 355# in two weeks. Be able to run a quarter mile without stopping within the next four weeks. Etc....

Also, find a mentor at the box; someone who is qualified to advise you at any given time (hopefully that's a coach, but it doesn't have to be) and will sign up to holding you accountable for goals and actions that you have defined for yourself. Yes, that means you need to set goals and actions for yourself. Yes, that means that you have to tell others what they are.

You didn't get from 215# back to 360# overnight, and you won't get back to 215# overnight either. So, accomplish something instead that (basically) IS overnight. Do it, be proud of it, check it off your list, and move on.

I leave others to address the social issues. I'm a total extrovert and cannot relate or advise on that at all.

Best of luck!!

- Mark
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Old 09-23-2013, 01:37 PM   #5
John Holcombe
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Re: Lack of Motivation

You can't keep doing the same things and expect different results. It sounds like you really aren't happy being 300+ pounds so you're going to have to man up and not give up on this. If you stay with it for at least a few months you'll probably notice a ton of positive changes as well as make a lot of new friends. If you quit, you'll probably regret it a lot.
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Old 09-23-2013, 02:08 PM   #6
Glenn Plomchok
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Re: Lack of Motivation

Think of it this way...

Will you feel better or worse if you don't do anything at all? My guess is worse...

Mark makes a great point. You do have a long road ahead but I also believe you will see gains and improvements for a LONG duration so that is very cool. By that I mean if you stay consistent, my guess is you will see improvements almost every day. That in and of itself can be intoxicating. Also, find folks in your gym you like and make a connection. I try to help everyone at our box and really enjoy helping out folks who are new...I admire anyone who steps through the door.

Go get it...and report back!
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Old 09-23-2013, 02:33 PM   #7
Chad Ashton
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Re: Lack of Motivation

It is a hard road. I've been on it since the beginning of the year. It's a road worth traveling though. It's so awesome to find a shirt deep in the closet that I haven't been able to wear in years and now it fits perfectly, if not a little too big. I feels great to have people tell me how good I look and what a great job I've done with my very apparent weight loss. It's beyond words being able to walk any distance and not have a knee or back pain because of my weight or being winded after walking a short distance. I can't describe how it feels knowing that I'm improving my life with ever pound lost, doing it for myself and my family. Doing what I can to make sure I am healthy and stay healthy so I can be around for a long time for my kids. It's certainly difficult and I know how easy it is to skip a workout. But once you start it snowballs getting easier and easier until you stop. Don't let it happen. Force yourself to get out and start the workout. Once you start, you will feel better and be glad you made it out. Like already said, I've never regretted doing a workout but I've regretted everyone I skipped.
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Old 09-23-2013, 03:05 PM   #8
Greg Spaight
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Re: Lack of Motivation

I've only been doing this for about2 months. But in that time I've been to 4 different boxes while traveling for work and have found all of the boxes to be filled with really excellent folks, all of whom root for each person in the room on more than just a physical level.

I'd bet your box is the exact same, and that showing up will get you a big boost or support.

I've managed to jack my knees up pretty good and am on a no squatting program for 30 days. Everything in CF seems to involve squatting, but my coach helps adjust the wod to accommodate that every day. Some days I feel guilty about that, but people have been nice about it - I go hard at what I can do, and work hard towards my recovery.

It's trite, but Confucius was correct - the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

The last place you need to be is hanging out at home feeling crappy.

You might not feel like you deserve the support of others, especially since you barely know them, but you do deserve and you will get it.

Go get ya some.
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Old 09-23-2013, 05:32 PM   #9
Joe Spinelli
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Re: Lack of Motivation

I don't know what else I can add because there is some great advice here so far.

You just gotta go. Go and go and go. Show up, show up, show up. Go, show up, and work hard. Everyone will respect your efforts, and you will start to feel better about yourself fast. Gone will be the social anxiety because you will be one of the team!

The more friends you make and the more people see you showing up consistently, the more the will believe you are in it for the long haul. For me, many of my friends at the box believed it before I did. It's really nice to show up and have people say "where were you yesterday?" that accountability helps to keep you on track.

I love my coach and my box and my friends there of all levels. The other day a guy named Georgie did his first rope climb. A year ago he was 360lbs. I Hope you can get the suppoort you need at your box because in thr beginning, it makes a ton of difference.

Good luck!
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Old 09-23-2013, 07:30 PM   #10
Theresa Stephens
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Re: Lack of Motivation

My heart goes out to you -- especially when it comes to the social anxiety. But I can absolutely promise you that while a box may have something to offer you, you ALSO have something to offer. I am so inspired by people who walk in, day after day, with physical, mental, emotional, or social struggles to overcome.

As a matter of fact, there are two women in my box who have a really long way to go physically and mentally. Their road is just as long as it sounds like yours may be. They were terrified the first time they walked in. Like shaking scared and nervous. But my day is better when I see them. For them I can be part of making a real difference. When they aren't there, I am bummed about it. Both of them accomplish little goals every time they walk through those doors and as a new trainer, it really, really helps me to get up in the morning to know that I am a small part of their future happiness and health. I know the other members of my box feel the same way.

So if you can't get in there for yourself, get in there for others. You never know who you might be inspiring and helping to move forward.
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