Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)

[Matthew Campato]

Originally Posted by Christian Gotcher

Oh, and by the way, Rippetoe is the Kwizatch Haderach

Dude I love that quote. Don't know if many other people got it but I did. Ha ha ha ha fantastic. Oh btw.......it's spelt Kwisatch Haderach. Not to be a stickler or anything though.

[Ian Smith]

Ran across this one.

"Okay, you want to know what I ate. I have eaten a dozen eggs for breakfast before, but always ate 6 with toast and milk, and 5 bowls of raisin bran was quite normal until my members asked to stop doing that. I have eaten 11 10-oz. steaks at an all-you-can-eat steak deal -- several of us went there, and the special was discontinued the following week. I have eaten 4 very large plates of spaghetti and meat sauce in 30 minutes. I have eaten 15 pork chops + vegetables at the Olympic Training Center back when the food was really good. I have eaten 225 shrimp in an hour. At a seafood buffet in Michigan, I ate 10 lobsters and the claws off of 10 more, in addition to shrimp, crab legs, lobster bisque, clam chowder, and bread, in 2 hours. I have eaten 7 big bowls of Mongolian BBQ. I have had a gallon of milk in less than 30 minutes. I was very expensive to feed, but I am told by reputable sources that I was absolutely nothing compared to Phil Grippaldi.

And folks, for weight-gaining purposes, "eating clean" is not a useful concept. Big Macs are."

assume it's not wfs http://www.************.net/forum/showthread.php?t=2495

[Stuart Buck]

Since Mark Rippetoe is at the peak of his humor when he's confronted with a stupid question, I've imagined it would be funny if someone wrote to him with the following:

Mr. Rippetoe,

I'm having trouble with the Paleo Diet and GOMAD. Since I'm on the Paleo Diet, I can't have dairy, so that rules out GOMAD. But since you praise milk as better than steroids, I've been trying to think of alternatives. Then it hit me: What could be more "paleo" than human breast milk? Talk about something that has been around since the beginning of time.

So my questions are: 1) in your experience, what are the effects of drinking a gallon of human breast milk per day, and 2) can you write a recommendation letter for me to the Human Breast Milk Bank of North America (they've been ignoring me thus far)?

[Robert Callahan]

Originally Posted by Stuart Buck

Since Mark Rippetoe is at the peak of his humor when he's confronted with a stupid question, I've imagined it would be funny if someone wrote to him with the following:

LOL do it!

[Brian Bedell]

"If you are not squatting, you have not started strength training."

Good one from today, in response to OP who had a DL question but doesn't squat and stated "I started strength training recently and..."

[Michael Donohue]

Most of his quotes I get a real good chuckle, but this one had me laughing out loud.

"On resting in between reps: It varies with the length of the set. 5s or fewer get a breath to reset. Longer sets might take 2 breaths. During the last few reps of a true 20RM squat, just do what Jesus tells you."

[Dirk Hormann]

I don´t think these were quoted yet (about getting big):

1)

Originally Posted by Rip

"The thing your high-rep-to-failure dogma ignores is the fact that you can't do it with significant amounts of weight relative to 1RM, and thus can't get strong doing it. And if you can't get strong, you can't get big. Strong = Big, if you eat enough to continue to improve your strength. If you don't your gains stop. If the mechanism for hypertrophy was simply microtrauma acquired during time under tension with loads of 60-85% of 1RM, programming would be ridiculously easy and everybody that did this would be ridiculously hyooge, which they aren't. And there would be no way to explain how everybody that eats correctly and goes through a linear progression with 5s gets big and strong, which they do. If we start a novice on light weights and high reps to failure, they will not grow, as thousands of guys reading this board will attest."

2)
"So I'd say in order of importance:
1) Intent
2) Diet
3) Routine
And I think if you get the first one down, the other two take care of themselves.
Then again, I could be just talking out of my ***."

Originally Posted by Rip

Yes, your *** is talking here. If intent were #1, I'd be huge. Hyooge.

[Scott Stevens]

hyooge. hahaha

[Steve Price]

Deadlifts that are too heavy to pull generally don't take very long; the bar just kinda lays there. So if trying to move immovable objects was dangerous from the standpoint of stroke, the history of the human race would be littered with stupid people's corpses. - Rip

Any time I fail on a DL, I think of this quote and laugh out lout, which makes the stair-climbers, treadmill walkers and swiss-ball enthusiasts at my globo stare even more.

It's true, the bar just kinda lays there.

[Scott Stevens]

I don't know why but I found this one really funny.

Q:
Sir,
A volume, light, and heavy day with the basics, Squat,Press/bench Dead lift/powerclean will cover my strength needs. I have recently picked up a C2 rower and hope to use it about five days a week, 20 minutes per. This will be in the morning, my strength training is in the evening. What do you think?
thanks and waiting patiently for my DVD to arrive,

A:
Sounds like fun.