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Old 03-28-2006, 05:57 PM   #1
Jamila Bey
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I'm in line at the supermarket. The guy behind me is standing too close and I can't move forward. I feel a hand at my behind. I turn and say "Back the *#^# up!"
Guy didn't move. I deliver a good firm shove and say loudly, "What? You're &^$%& deaf? I said get back off of me!"

The cashier a line over says, "Miss, he is deaf."
I'm agitated, and looking for a way to shove the pointy end of my pineapple into the guy's face.
Instead, I mutter, "Well he's not blind- he sure got his hand to my @$$ nicely."

My question: Did I overkill? I am REALLY sensitive about people behind me and I'm also fairly strong. (Thanks CF!)

How would you advise your sister, wife, mom, daughter to act in that case?
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Old 03-28-2006, 06:09 PM   #2
Jibreel Freeland
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Haha I think you did great. A non-crippling, non-lethal move that established "hey I am a force to be reckoned with." Most attackers who aren't insane, drunk or on steroids are cowards deep down, and they would only pick on someone they are sure they could beat with ease.

This reminds me of the victim attitude that alot of women seem to adopt. Yeah, generally men are bigger and stronger, generally they will win in a fight. But there's nothing to say that women can't do some damage in the process. For this reason I think that many rapists and predators are given an upper hand: the women adopt an attitude of a victim. The predator thus smells fear and realizes hey this person is going to be an easy target.

NOw if this guy just bumped you and didn't have a hand on your arse then maybe you owe an apology.

Kudos to you for not being a victim.
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Old 03-29-2006, 08:35 AM   #3
Kevin McKay
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You should have kicked him in the balls, for the next girl who may not be as strong as you. She will be somebody's sister or mom.
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Old 03-29-2006, 09:54 AM   #4
Anthony Bainbridge
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The same thing happened to me, except he wasn't deaf. I reacted in an almost identical manner. :angry:

I think you did well!
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Old 03-29-2006, 10:10 AM   #5
Barry Cooper
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I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that touching your butt constitutes an assault, if intentional. He could literally be arrested and sentenced to something for that. Assuming it was intentional, your response was, to my mind, appropriate.
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Old 03-29-2006, 10:49 AM   #6
Peter Queen
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Well first of all, you were correct for being upset. Overkill…well that is a judgment call based on the individual’s present mood, personality or character. So I am certainly not going to tell you how to react because everybody is different. It is interesting that in his limited physical capacity he would have been a bit more polite to people and not act like some sort of horny rogue. Especially, after you repeated your displeasure. Unless he suffers from some sort of diminished mental capacity as well, he should have gotten the hint immediately. Kevin has a good point about having him not go on thinking that he can do this to just any woman he pleases. And like Jibreel stated about being a victim, you have to really sometimes stay on your toes. Marc Deny of Dog Bros. MA is an instructor of full contact Kali.
He has stated that we have to walk with the warrior spirit because man is the only species on the planet that hunts its own kind for food. Food metaphorically is in the form of lustful gratification as in sexual abuse or in the form of money as in robberies and burglaries.

Uninvited intentions are just that…uninvited.

You can always give him “the finger”. That’s the universal sign language. Followed by a knee to the groin. Deaf or blind that would certainly send a clear message. That will drop any guy, no matter how much MA they might have.:happy:
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Old 03-29-2006, 11:00 AM   #7
John Vernon
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Nicely done, and excellent use of produce as a weapon of self-defense I might add.

Although I haven't been groped in a shopping line before I have had to deal with the occasional "elbow wedger", as I call them, at the local pub. You can find this type trying to talk to the person next to you at the actual bar and although there is no room for them they insist on wedging themself into the mix, EXTREMELY annoying. If they're only ordering a drink it's okay but if their trying to establish an occuaption, no dice. Seeing as how my visits to my favorite pub are limited these days I relish the visit and like to enjoy myself so a rare run-in with a "wedger" usually results in an altercation of some sort 98% of the time.

Bottom Line: do what you have to do to protect your personal space.
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Old 03-29-2006, 01:01 PM   #8
John Seiler
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I think you did great. Point to consider: Who knows what his intentions were beyond that? Perhaps he was sizing you up. If so, he found out what he needed to know.
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Old 03-29-2006, 02:19 PM   #9
Tim Weaver
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Normally I have to pay extra for that kind of action.... :-)

However, Jamila, I say you shoulda monkey-stomped his *** as a lesson not to go around fondling women who don't asked to be fondled.

Deaf or not, that dude needs a whuppin'.
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Old 03-29-2006, 03:02 PM   #10
Paul Findley
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One time my wife and I were in a store looking at dishes. She was wearing this dark green LL Bean down coat and had long brown hair. I saw her and walked up behind her and gave her a bear hug. Turns out, it was the *other* lady in the store with the dark green LL Bean down coat and long brown hair. She was like "Ohhh!" (surprised), I was apologetic, explained, and then laughed.

Perhaps this person thought you were a "friend"...who knows. I think you did right. Deaf people know what is going on.

Thankfully my event was before the days of crossfit, or else I would be sporting a dent in my head from a heavy ceramic vase or something.
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