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Old 11-27-2009, 06:50 PM   #61
Katherine Derbyshire
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Re: Unsupportive Boyfriend Issues

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Originally Posted by Brian Russell View Post
I have had several people at work get annoyed by hearing what I have to say over and over, but you know what? Little by little they realize that what I am saying about nutrition/exercise is very true and applicable to their lives. Now, literally everyone I work with comes to me with any questions relating to nutrition/exercise/health issues.

But, to each his/her own. If it's just exercise to you that is fine. To me, and I am pretty sure others on here, it is a lifestyle.
Not everyone wants to hear the details of another person's lifestyle, either, whether that lifestyle entails beating themselves up over the WOD 3 days out of every 4, or bearing witness to their Christian faith. It's great that it's been life changing for you, but still pretty boring for those who don't share the experience.

Katherine
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Old 11-27-2009, 06:57 PM   #62
Brian Russell
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Re: Unsupportive Boyfriend Issues

oh yeah, i agree completely. just voicing my opinion.
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Old 11-27-2009, 10:04 PM   #63
Paul Sousa
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Re: Unsupportive Boyfriend Issues

Just wanted to say awesome job with actually working on your relationship and not listening to the crowd wanting to crucify him. I love how everyone thinks they'll have a perfect relationship by finding a person who is exactly like you and will never disagree with something you want. Personally, I like having someone who will actually voice concern over things.

I am doing SS currently and eating appropriately, but my wife keeps trying to feed me fruit. I've told her it isn't calorically dense enough, but she still wants me to eat it. Maybe it's time for divorce...
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Old 11-28-2009, 12:11 PM   #64
Aushion Chatman
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Re: Unsupportive Boyfriend Issues

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Originally Posted by Katherine Derbyshire View Post
Not everyone wants to hear the details of another person's lifestyle, either, whether that lifestyle entails beating themselves up over the WOD 3 days out of every 4, or bearing witness to their Christian faith. It's great that it's been life changing for you, but still pretty boring for those who don't share the experience.

Katherine
However, in a committed relationship, ignoring or telling someone that I don't want to hear about one of the more important aspects of your life is a good way to end that relationship...

Maybe that means the relationship should be ended anyway

But it definitely isn't a good way to keep it maturing. In a relationship you aren't worried about everyone hearing about what you're passionate about, just that the person you love validates you...that is HUGE! And you may just find that by validating your sig. other, they will respond by validating you in stuff about you that they could "care less about".
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Old 11-28-2009, 12:34 PM   #65
Jason R O'Dell
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Re: Unsupportive Boyfriend Issues

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Originally Posted by Aushion Chatman View Post
However, in a committed relationship, ignoring or telling someone that I don't want to hear about one of the more important aspects of your life is a good way to end that relationship...

Maybe that means the relationship should be ended anyway

But it definitely isn't a good way to keep it maturing. In a relationship you aren't worried about everyone hearing about what you're passionate about, just that the person you love validates you...that is HUGE! And you may just find that by validating your sig. other, they will respond by validating you in stuff about you that they could "care less about".

I don't think that's what she was talking about. She was talking about another poster who said he tells people at work about his fitness lifestyle even though they don't want to hear it.
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Old 11-28-2009, 01:37 PM   #66
Katherine Derbyshire
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Re: Unsupportive Boyfriend Issues

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I don't think that's what she was talking about. She was talking about another poster who said he tells people at work about his fitness lifestyle even though they don't want to hear it.
Exactly.

Although I wouldn't expect even my husband to listen to an endless explanation of the fundamentals of weightlifting or aikido technique, any more than I care about operating system internals (he's a software engineer). Being affirming and supportive can also mean cheerfully getting up early to feed the cats while I teach the Saturday morning class, or not complaining when I decide I need to work the Friday evening class into my schedule.

Katherine
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Old 11-28-2009, 08:04 PM   #67
Erica Horton
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Re: Unsupportive Boyfriend Issues

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If this relationship matters and he doesn't know better, exercise however you want but don't say 'CrossFit'

...

I still don't like my parents, fwiw... my advice is probably junk.

Already fixed it. I don't go to Xfit, I "go to the gym." I don't train, I "go to the gym." Let the image be of cute girls on treadmills with legwarmers, not dead lifts and sweat angels.

Speaking of parents, my mother in California is screaming so loud about me lifting weights I can hear her in TX. She's a bit old-school. Convinced that if I'm sore after a workout it means I'm going to be replacing my knees at the age of 40. She loves her Jazzercise because she's "never sore." Oy.
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Old 11-28-2009, 08:10 PM   #68
Erica Horton
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Re: Unsupportive Boyfriend Issues

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Originally Posted by Aushion Chatman View Post
Sounds like you're working it out..and instead of "dumping" him, like most of the thread was advocating, you are doing the RIGHT thing and COMMUNICATING and showing PATIENCE...love isn't overnight and it is NOT easy...if you think it's supposed to be easy all the time, you will not be successful in relationships...
In my experience I may be able to find someone else who is into Crossfit, but I can almost guarantee that something else I do would be anathema. They might not like me spending 20-30 hours locked up painting every once in a while, they might not like my inattention to detail in cleaning the bathroom, or my MMORPG addiction.

There'll always be *something.*

As for the physical attraction thing, I understand completely having been in the position in earlier relationships where I got in good shape and the SO got in ever expanding couch shape. There's a baseline of physical appearance that's necessary for all of us. I think my boyfriend's will be easily accommodated, he just doesn't know it yet.
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Old 11-28-2009, 08:19 PM   #69
Erica Horton
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Re: Unsupportive Boyfriend Issues

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Originally Posted by Katherine Derbyshire View Post
Being affirming and supportive can also mean cheerfully getting up early to feed the cats while I teach the Saturday morning class, or not complaining when I decide I need to work the Friday evening class into my schedule.

Katherine
I need to keep this in mind.

I may not be getting pompoms and fight songs from the peanut gallery here, but he has dinner ready for me when I get home from the gym, doesn't complain about me being gone (or sweaty and messed up when I get home), or me spending money on my membership. It seems I've also inspired him to either train in a martial art again or join a local sports league, which I may also participate in.

Just found out tonight he went and did a bunch of research on the paleo diet, and figured out I was slipping paleo meals in. He's worried about health issues with eating tons of meat, but otherwise has no problems, and thinks it will be helpful in lowering my body fat percentage as desired.

I'm doing a 90 day paleo diet challenge through my gym in January, and he's going to be supportive as long as he still gets to eat noodles and bread. Though he did warn he's going to eat muffins in front of me and laugh... but we can't always get what we want, right?
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Old 11-28-2009, 08:57 PM   #70
Blair Robert Lowe
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Re: Unsupportive Boyfriend Issues

Let him eat the chicken and fish and egg whites while you eat the steaks and egg yolks.
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