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Old 01-20-2006, 09:07 AM   #1
John Walsh
Banned John Walsh is offline
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Boston  MA
Posts: 467
Charles Staley 's Gym Rules

1) First, never have a goal or a conscious strategy regarding what
you are trying to accomplish- just go in and basically do what
everyone else does.

2) Never seek professional assistance, even if you've never been in a
gym before...just watch others and copy what they do.

3) Whenever possible, perform your arm curls in a power rack. If the
gym has bumper plates, use them for the curls instead of regular
metal plates.

4) Always drink Gatorade before, during and after your "workout."
After all, if you let your glycogen stores become depleted, your body
might actually have to start accessing fat stores for fuel.

5) A walkman with headphones is mandatory- without this important
device, you might have to actually become conscious of what you are

6) Avoid the "Evil 5:" Squats, deadlifts, dips, chins, and Olympic
lifts. Of special importance: even though many gyms feature a
stylized pictogram of the snatch lift as part of their logo, NEVER
perform a snatch in a gym. NEVER.

7) Instead, concentrate on the "Golden 5:" Bench presses, arm curls,
behind the neck presses, lat pulldowns behind the neck, and dumbell
side bends.

8) Always leave your weights on the apparatus you just used- you may
risk burning an additional 6 calories if you replace them.

9) To impress others with your dedication and expertise, always bring
in a copy of Men's Fitness, and emulate the lastest midsection
workout by leaving the magazine open on the bench next to you, and
carefully study the photos between sets to make sure you're doing it

10) Lastly make ample use of wrist wraps, belts, knee wraps, elbow
wraps, you name it- really go for that "mummy" look that's so in
vogue these days.
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