Thread: Re-Tread(NWFS)
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Old 04-18-2011, 08:00 PM   #16
Travis Loest
Member Travis Loest is offline
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Hinesville  GA
Posts: 827
Re: Re-Tread(NWFS)

Spending a lot of time in thought/research on ways a man can unmake/remake himself, evaluating my life, my choices, my destructive habits. I've come to the conclusion that I am horribly critical of myself and of others.

I've realized that looking at it as a whole picture is so overwhelming as to be insurmountable.(big word for the day) I know that if I can fix one thing and stick with that until the bad habit is rewritten with a good habit that I can make changes that will last. But where to start? How 'bout with a list?

Maybe it'll be a constant reminder to get my *** in gear and fix my life, not that it's all bad, mind you. I have a job, and in this economy that's a pretty good thing. I have a wife and daughter that love me. I have the ability to provide for my family. But who wants to work on that?! Here's the crap that needs to be cleaned out of my life.

Cigarettes, a horrible habit. My dad quit when the doctor asked my mother how long she had been smoking...she never smoked a day in her life. He became an unbearable ***, then he quit drinking (which he did fairly heavily) and became someone I didn't want to be around. I quit for three years, but started back up for no apparent reason due to a social slip/personal faux pas. I know what it's doing to me, I can see the difference in my performance and everything in my life.

Soda, might as well mainline chemicals straight into my veins. There's really nothing redeemable about soda. It's bad for me, it taste soooooo good. I've got so much of a sweet tooth that I can eat cake frosting out of the container. Soda is an easy way to get a sugar fix. Not drinking the sweet poison makes me dislike myself almost as much as when I try to quit smoking.

Self destructive habits. I feel like I've been at the "grind" for so long that there doesn't seem to be a point to it. I'm not as dedicated to "the cause" as I use to be, I have a hard time sticking to new things. One week, not a problem; two weeks, sure why not; three weeks, what was I doing again?? I've gotten to the point where I do what I need to to get by with a little extra on top so "they" can't say I'm not putting out any effort. Really need to stop doing that. It's not fair to me and not fair to the people I work with. They deserve better.

Physical Fitness. I need to recheck my azimuth on this. My job requires me to do it, and then places "rules" on how I'm allowed to go about it. I think I'm just frustrated with the institutionalized mentality.

Maybe I just need to stop being a *****.
I suck...but I'm working on it.
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