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-   -   Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s) (https://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=29437)

Tim Luby 03-25-2008 07:01 AM

Classic Rip (collection of quotes, many hilarious, many NOT w/f/s)
 
This guy is freakin' hilarious

From ************.net:

"There are few things graven in stone, except that you have to squat or you're a *****."

Howard Wilcox 03-25-2008 09:48 AM

Re: Classic Rip
 
Yep.

Am I the only one collecting Rip quotes?


howard

Tim Luby 03-25-2008 07:55 PM

Re: Classic Rip
 
[QUOTE=Howard Wilcox;279594]Yep.

Am I the only one collecting Rip quotes?


howard[/QUOTE]

I think his quotes definitely warrant a category on this forum.

John Seiler 03-25-2008 08:06 PM

Re: Classic Rip
 
[QUOTE=Tim Luby;279451]This guy is freakin' hilarious[/QUOTE]

Indeed. By far my favorite Ripism is from the October 2007 CF Journal:

[I]I was driving home the other night, listening to the radio, and the guy filling in for Art Bell on Coast to Coast AM was talking to some other guy about Nazis, UFOs, the Kennedy Assassination, time travel, and George Bush, and how it all relates to OneWorldGovernment. This, of course, made me think about barbell training.[/I]

I laughed for 15 minutes.

Howard Wilcox 03-25-2008 08:15 PM

Re: Classic Rip
 
A few:

(in reference to a bicyclist who seemed to be saying that riding was similar to squats since they both made your legs hurt):

Yes they both hurt, but so do burning your hand and burying your bulldog. The differences are actually quite significant.

The trouble with cyclists is that their training establishment keeps reinforcing the silly bull**** that all recreational athletes want to believe: at some point, all serious athletes go outside their sport-specific work to improve, and recreational athletes just want to play their sport and wear the clothes.
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Soy milk is essentially Coffee-Mate with laced with estrogen, and is best left to vegans and other socialist vegetarian types that can't bring themselves to eat the completely natural-for-humans flesh of our friends the Animals but who have no trouble with slaughtering trillions of our other friends the Plants and processing -- in gigantic factories run by multinational corporations with shareholders that eat meat themselves -- very selectively chosen components of their poor little bodies into gooey **** that humans have never had an opportunity to adapt to digesting. Why, eating such material, with its high levels of isoflavones, touted by gynecologists as tantamount to Estrogen Replacement Therapy (ERT), will make you grow boobs, and this will screw up the clean lines of this fine young man's Under Armor. I recommend against it.

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CrossFit has the potential to change the popular cultural perception of what exercise actually means over the next decade, and I will watch with delight as selectorized leg machines are melted down into more useful items like re-bar and manhole covers.

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My own opinion of Greg is that he has done more to legitimize actual training in the minds of the public than any other person since Arthur Jones destroyed it in the mid-70s.

Jake Di Vita 03-25-2008 08:15 PM

Re: Classic Rip
 
[QUOTE]I was driving home the other night, listening to the radio, and the guy filling in for Art Bell on Coast to Coast AM was talking to some other guy about Nazis, UFOs, the Kennedy Assassination, time travel, and George Bush, and how it all relates to OneWorldGovernment. This, of course, made me think about barbell training.[/QUOTE]

I didn't laugh at all for like 10 seconds, and now I've been laughing for 5 minutes straight.

John Devine 03-26-2008 02:23 PM

Re: Classic Rip
 
The entire milk thread is great, here's a couple of excerpts:
"...I further suggest that you read beyond the literature that espouses the conventional wisdom and broaden your knowledge base, lest you incur the awful wrath of Drs. Kilgore and Bradford, neither of whom, fortunately, are MDs, but rather are familiar with research and have conducted it themselves. I find your reverence for the judgement of MDs rather quaint, and lest you interpret my reference to Dr. Mullis as a similar ad hominem pleading, I have actually reviewed the relevant arguments and have not relied on the expertise of others for my conclusions."

"...Are you seriously suggesting that a double-blind study is the only way to obtain information about the effects of a protocol? Does thirty years of careful anecdotal analysis not count? Have you done a double blind study to investigate the effects of substituting leg extensions/curls for squats? Do you think you really need to? Why do you already know you don't? And how would we do such studies? What would be your placebo substitute for milk and squats?"

James Besenyei 03-26-2008 02:49 PM

Re: Classic Rip
 
More, more, more.....:rofl:

Howard Wilcox 03-26-2008 02:53 PM

Re: Classic Rip
 
"There is no substitute for milk. Sorry."
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"Milk is quite literally better than steroids for a novice lifter to grow on, and no supplement produces the same effect."
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"It is because over thirty years of direct observation has demonstrated to me that when trainees drink one gallon of milk added to their regular diet and train in a progressive linear fashion, they gain significant muscular bodyweight, and those that do not drink their milk, even in the presence of progressive linear training, fail to do this. They also fail to continue progressive linear training for the same length of time, because this is facilitated by the steady weight gain. I understand that you're asking me if I have controlled for other factors such as failure to do the program correctly, and the answer is yes, of course I have, because I am not a complete idiot. Those that will not do the program are not being considered when I make these remarks, because that would be too ****ing obvious a hole in my analysis. The difference in the milk drinkers is that THEY GET BIGGER THAN THE ONES WHO WON'T DRINK THE ****ING MILK. Please tell me that you understand this now."
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But nobody lives in Canada. It's a frozen wasteland with an inefficient postal system, probably suffering from a shortage of sled dogs. And we're not in bookstores anywhere. Not even in Texas.
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howard

Spencer Provow 03-26-2008 02:59 PM

Re: Classic Rip
 
i looked on strength mill for a while but i couldn't find the post where he said "if you take steroids then you are a p****"!! haha that is my favorite


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