CrossFit Discussion Board  

Go Back   CrossFit Discussion Board > CrossFit Forum > Fitness
CrossFit Home Forum Site Rules CrossFit FAQ Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Fitness Theory and Practice. CrossFit's rationale & foundations. Who is fit? What is fitness?

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-27-2012, 07:20 PM   #1
Cameron Skrypnyk
Member Cameron Skrypnyk is offline
 
Profile:
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Shilo  MB
Posts: 15
Coaching Ethics Question

Ahhhh, Ethics in Sports and Ethics in Coaching....

So ... Question,


In the situation below:

What is the correct, or most ethical course of action as a coach?


I was approached by a Former Uni Athlete over the summer, she wanted to get into CrossFit but could get to one of our local boxes, but could train at the University where I house my gear/club. I have been training her since then. She is my age, she has amazing potential in this sport.

Long story short, she recently became single and despite my best efforts and intentions I have developed feelings for her past what I consider appropriate for the, "coach - athlete" relationship.

I have so far not overtly behaved unprofessionally, however considering my feelings, I think I doubt that my intentions or actions will be strictly in the best interests of the athlete; or that ulterior motives may unavoidably effect my decisions. And that I can pretend that it would not happen, but study of psych would tell us its not possible to leave it out.

I have already began to push her away in the sense of limiting my sessions with her to strictly oly, and having her work out a deal with her job and a local box that gets her a couple covered sessions each week.

There is a competition approaching and I feel that post competition I should find her a new coach and end our training. And quite specifically, to lie about why, because to tell the truth would once again be to impose my feelings and desires onto her.

Advice?

Thanks Community
 
Old 12-27-2012, 07:27 PM   #2
Paulo Santos
Banned Paulo Santos is offline
 
Profile:
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Hopatcong  NJ
Posts: 2,164
Re: Coaching Ethics Question

Does she have the same feelings for you as you have for her? If so, you should have a sit down with her and tell her how you feel and decide what is right. Good women are hard to find, so if she is someone that you may want to spend the rest of your life with, don't let her go. If that means you have to stop training her to start a relationship, then do it.
 
Old 12-27-2012, 07:30 PM   #3
Brian Strump
Affiliate Brian Strump is offline
 
Brian Strump's Avatar
 
Profile:
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Charlotte  NC
Posts: 2,613
Re: Coaching Ethics Question

Does she pay you? Or is this like friends working out together?
__________________
Brian Strump, D.C., FMS, NKT
www.crossfitsteelecreek.com/
 
Old 12-27-2012, 09:27 PM   #4
Chris Mason
Member Chris Mason is offline
 
Chris Mason's Avatar
 
Profile:
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Charlottesville  VA
Posts: 4,580
Re: Coaching Ethics Question

Are you married or something?

If not, why not ask her out? You are not her psychologist, you are a trainer. People meet on the job etc. all of the time. Why can't you just tell her how you feel and see what happens? If she doesn't reciprocate then you move on as you mentioned. Easy deal. I don't get it?
 
Old 12-27-2012, 10:44 PM   #5
Cain Deckhard
Member Cain Deckhard is offline
 
Profile:
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Los Angeles  CA
Posts: 52
Re: Coaching Ethics Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Mason View Post
Are you married or something?

If not, why not ask her out? You are not her psychologist, you are a trainer. People meet on the job etc. all of the time. Why can't you just tell her how you feel and see what happens? If she doesn't reciprocate then you move on as you mentioned. Easy deal. I don't get it?
Pretty much this, just start spending more time with her in a non-trainer capacity and see how it goes. Also, on a less obvious note: pay very close attention to her body language, and how she reacts when you ask her out etc. etc.. If you are skilled, usually the microexpressions will give her feelings away and you won't have to actually outright phrase things as a question the way Chris suggested. I've just never seen "tell her how you feel" work out in real life. Reason being, if you have to say it, something's off, both should kinda know.
 
Old 12-28-2012, 09:15 AM   #6
Michael Dries
Member Michael Dries is offline
 
Profile:
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Fair Lawn  NJ
Posts: 820
Re: Coaching Ethics Question

I dunno, if it were me it wouldn't be a question of ethics but of good business practice.

Word of mouth is your best friend when it comes to growing a training practice. Possibly creeping a girl out is a pretty big gamble you're taking on future business.

From your other post I see you're 22. Plenty of fish in the sea dude.
 
Old 12-28-2012, 10:25 AM   #7
Cameron Skrypnyk
Member Cameron Skrypnyk is offline
 
Profile:
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Shilo  MB
Posts: 15
Re: Coaching Ethics Question

K, not quite the answers I expected.

I guess what I expected was people to have outright, "thats right, thats wrong," opinions or at least, "relax bro, its normal for some type of feelings to inevitably develop, dont sweat it and keep training"

I'm not married, the other post was really old, im 26. I run a club so people only chip in to replace/repair or upgrade my gear at the Uni (as necessary to meet needs of club mbrs.)

I am not worried about business practice stuff, I am a full time student; and really dont even have time for the people I do help out. This is not something I want to do for a job, but I am good at it.

I am not a lonely depressed guy, and its not like I latched on or am counting on this, like I said I did my best to not have these feelings. And I am not afraid to move forward with women, that is not my issue, and if I was not coaching her it would be a no brainier, but I am ...

I am really only concerned with doing the right thing.
 
Old 12-28-2012, 10:32 AM   #8
Paulo Santos
Banned Paulo Santos is offline
 
Profile:
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Hopatcong  NJ
Posts: 2,164
Re: Coaching Ethics Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cameron Skrypnyk View Post
K, not quite the answers I expected.

I guess what I expected was people to have outright, "thats right, thats wrong," opinions or at least, "relax bro, its normal for some type of feelings to inevitably develop, dont sweat it and keep training"

I'm not married, the other post was really old, im 26. I run a club so people only chip in to replace/repair or upgrade my gear at the Uni (as necessary to meet needs of club mbrs.)

I am not worried about business practice stuff, I am a full time student; and really dont even have time for the people I do help out. This is not something I want to do for a job, but I am good at it.

I am not a lonely depressed guy, and its not like I latched on or am counting on this, like I said I did my best to not have these feelings. And I am not afraid to move forward with women, that is not my issue, and if I was not coaching her it would be a no brainier, but I am ...

I am really only concerned with doing the right thing.
How can you expect us to help when you aren't answering any questions? If this isn't something you do seriously or plan on doing, screw it. Hook up with her.
 
Old 12-28-2012, 10:50 AM   #9
Sean Dunston
Affiliate Sean Dunston is offline
 
Sean Dunston's Avatar
 
Profile:
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Alexandria  VA
Posts: 5,735
Re: Coaching Ethics Question

Rule 1:
Don't have sex with people you train. This follows the basic "Don't s**t where you eat" rule.

Rule 2:
See Rule 1.
__________________
My gym- Mount Vernon CrossFit
My blog
 
Old 12-28-2012, 03:31 PM   #10
Chris Mason
Member Chris Mason is offline
 
Chris Mason's Avatar
 
Profile:
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Charlottesville  VA
Posts: 4,580
Re: Coaching Ethics Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cameron Skrypnyk View Post
K, not quite the answers I expected.

I guess what I expected was people to have outright, "thats right, thats wrong," opinions or at least, "relax bro, its normal for some type of feelings to inevitably develop, dont sweat it and keep training"

I'm not married, the other post was really old, im 26. I run a club so people only chip in to replace/repair or upgrade my gear at the Uni (as necessary to meet needs of club mbrs.)

I am not worried about business practice stuff, I am a full time student; and really dont even have time for the people I do help out. This is not something I want to do for a job, but I am good at it.

I am not a lonely depressed guy, and its not like I latched on or am counting on this, like I said I did my best to not have these feelings. And I am not afraid to move forward with women, that is not my issue, and if I was not coaching her it would be a no brainier, but I am ...

I am really only concerned with doing the right thing.
You have not made it clear why you think there is any problem developing feelings for someone you work closely with? Why would this be a problem if neither of you are in a relationship? Why would it be wrong?
 
Closed Thread


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Coaching Question Mark Barchony Workout of the Day 2 02-22-2012 06:45 PM
Ethics Aryeh Friedman Running a CrossFit Facility 6 12-15-2011 07:55 PM
Ethics Aryeh Friedman Technical Support 0 12-13-2011 02:07 PM
Technical/Digital Coaching Related Question Brian Lawyer Digital Coaching 3 01-05-2009 04:20 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:22 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
CrossFit is a registered trademark of CrossFit Inc.