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Old 12-07-2007, 10:01 PM   #1
Elliot Fuller
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An Apology to my Stomach -- by Elliot Fuller

Dear Stomach,

It's been a while since we've spoken seriously. These last few weeks of mutual acceptance and respect have really been great. I've enjoyed Zoning with you for 3 weeks, and annoying family, friends, and girlfriend with the constant measuring, remeasuring and consumption of finely-tuned quantities of healthy eats. In return I've enjoyed all of the wonders of a healthy diet that you and your neighboring organs have blessed me with.

I know the measuring was a pain, and the constant guidelines were getting on your nerves. That's why we switched to Intermittent Fasting for a couple days, remember? You get to be by yourself all day long, churning and bubbling and being at peace. I get to go about my day and not have to worry about eating the right amounts of food at the right times. It was so perfect. A match made in heaven.

But now I feel I need to apologize to you, dear stomach... dear friend. I know we promised to not fast on the weekends, but I have let you down tonight. It was a surprise family dinner that neither you nor I could have anticipated, despite the up and coming breaking of the fast/feeding window.

Grandmother and grandfather could not have known about our arrangements. Maybe it's better that they don't. But I could not refuse. I was weak. And in my weakness, I hurt you... I hurt myself.

I'm sorry for the fatty, fried foods; the pounds of grassfed brisket; the apple sauce, sour cream and holiday cookies; and above all the yellow cake... and the second helping of yellow cake... and some of the third helping. I'm sorry for it all, as delicious as it was.

Oh stomach, please forgive me.

Your friend in digestion,
- Elliot





To anyone who's lost. I fell off the bandwagon. No... I plummeted. Hard. I feel terrible. It was so tasty. Why can't someone make a Paleo yellow cake. Tomorrow's another day. Hopefully my stomach will forgive me.
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Old 12-07-2007, 10:19 PM   #2
John West
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Re: An Apology to my Stomach -- by Elliot Fuller

Dear Elliot,

I forgive you. Try not to let it happen too often. But once in a while ain't so bad either.

Yours in peristalsis,

your stomach.
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Old 12-08-2007, 03:10 AM   #3
Paul Symes
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Re: An Apology to my Stomach -- by Elliot Fuller

When I hear things like this it makes my crack cocaine habbit seem so trivial.

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Old 12-08-2007, 05:44 AM   #4
Susie Rosenberg
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Re: An Apology to my Stomach -- by Elliot Fuller

And after dinner, the organ recital:

Oh! my liver! Oh! my pancreas! Oh! my spleen!
__________________
Those who hear not the music, think the dancers mad.
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Old 12-08-2007, 06:31 AM   #5
Cal Jones
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Re: An Apology to my Stomach -- by Elliot Fuller

Ah but if the stomach, organs and liver are upset, the tongue is a very happy camper indeed!
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Old 12-08-2007, 10:58 PM   #6
Michael Hays
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Re: An Apology to my Stomach -- by Elliot Fuller

oh, if only the happiness of the tongue was directly proportional to the conversion of all that goodness into lean mass...
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Old 12-13-2007, 05:17 PM   #7
John-David Ritchie
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Re: An Apology to my Stomach -- by Elliot Fuller

Micheal, I completely agree.

When I was a kid, I sometimes wished(and still do) that chocolate grew off trees in their wrappers and that they were really good for your health lol

Speaking of chocolate, I gave my stomach the sweet torture of digesting around 12 laura secord chocolates today...shared a 25 selected chocolate box with my gf...right now I feel I ate chocolate lol, but I don't feel as bad as when I eat candies...im really candy intolerant now, which is good.

Rest days are cheat days once in a while
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