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Old 01-20-2006, 09:07 AM   #1
John Walsh
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Charles Staley 's Gym Rules

1) First, never have a goal or a conscious strategy regarding what
you are trying to accomplish- just go in and basically do what
everyone else does.

2) Never seek professional assistance, even if you've never been in a
gym before...just watch others and copy what they do.

3) Whenever possible, perform your arm curls in a power rack. If the
gym has bumper plates, use them for the curls instead of regular
metal plates.

4) Always drink Gatorade before, during and after your "workout."
After all, if you let your glycogen stores become depleted, your body
might actually have to start accessing fat stores for fuel.

5) A walkman with headphones is mandatory- without this important
device, you might have to actually become conscious of what you are
doing.

6) Avoid the "Evil 5:" Squats, deadlifts, dips, chins, and Olympic
lifts. Of special importance: even though many gyms feature a
stylized pictogram of the snatch lift as part of their logo, NEVER
perform a snatch in a gym. NEVER.

7) Instead, concentrate on the "Golden 5:" Bench presses, arm curls,
behind the neck presses, lat pulldowns behind the neck, and dumbell
side bends.

8) Always leave your weights on the apparatus you just used- you may
risk burning an additional 6 calories if you replace them.

9) To impress others with your dedication and expertise, always bring
in a copy of Men's Fitness, and emulate the lastest midsection
workout by leaving the magazine open on the bench next to you, and
carefully study the photos between sets to make sure you're doing it
right.

10) Lastly make ample use of wrist wraps, belts, knee wraps, elbow
wraps, you name it- really go for that "mummy" look that's so in
vogue these days.
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Old 01-20-2006, 09:48 AM   #2
Jeffrey Crawford
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this is classic
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Old 01-20-2006, 03:01 PM   #3
Adrian Bozman
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Damn...I knew I was doing something wrong :lol:
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Old 06-11-2009, 11:35 AM   #4
Charles Staley
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Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules

Did I write that?

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Walsh View Post
1) First, never have a goal or a conscious strategy regarding what
you are trying to accomplish- just go in and basically do what
everyone else does.

2) Never seek professional assistance, even if you've never been in a
gym before...just watch others and copy what they do.

3) Whenever possible, perform your arm curls in a power rack. If the
gym has bumper plates, use them for the curls instead of regular
metal plates.

4) Always drink Gatorade before, during and after your "workout."
After all, if you let your glycogen stores become depleted, your body
might actually have to start accessing fat stores for fuel.

5) A walkman with headphones is mandatory- without this important
device, you might have to actually become conscious of what you are
doing.

6) Avoid the "Evil 5:" Squats, deadlifts, dips, chins, and Olympic
lifts. Of special importance: even though many gyms feature a
stylized pictogram of the snatch lift as part of their logo, NEVER
perform a snatch in a gym. NEVER.

7) Instead, concentrate on the "Golden 5:" Bench presses, arm curls,
behind the neck presses, lat pulldowns behind the neck, and dumbell
side bends.

8) Always leave your weights on the apparatus you just used- you may
risk burning an additional 6 calories if you replace them.

9) To impress others with your dedication and expertise, always bring
in a copy of Men's Fitness, and emulate the lastest midsection
workout by leaving the magazine open on the bench next to you, and
carefully study the photos between sets to make sure you're doing it
right.

10) Lastly make ample use of wrist wraps, belts, knee wraps, elbow
wraps, you name it- really go for that "mummy" look that's so in
vogue these days.
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Old 06-11-2009, 02:04 PM   #5
Jamie J. Skibicki
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Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules

You "My what a nice snatch you have" article would seem to contradict this list.

By the way, I use the "what muscle group does that work" response you wrote in that article all the time.
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Old 06-11-2009, 02:37 PM   #6
Justin McGinley
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Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules

Holy thread necromancy, Batman.
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Old 06-11-2009, 04:40 PM   #7
Jamie J. Skibicki
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Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules

Charles knows how to use the search function, for this he should be praised.
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Old 06-11-2009, 05:04 PM   #8
Shane Skowron
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Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamie J. Skibicki View Post
You "My what a nice snatch you have" article would seem to contradict this list.

By the way, I use the "what muscle group does that work" response you wrote in that article all the time.
Just read that article. I actually laughed out loud a few times. Good write-up!
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Old 06-11-2009, 05:15 PM   #9
Jamie J. Skibicki
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Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules

Awesome, isn't it. I used to read walsh's stuff over at the moynihan institute. I used to be good and funny and pretty on, but he has this current thing against weight training. He's getting more and more annoying.
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Old 06-11-2009, 05:27 PM   #10
Andy Gann
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Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules

Quote:
..."My what a nice snatch you have" article...
I have searched and can not find this article - link please?
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