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Old 11-19-2012, 10:33 AM   #1
Nik Nichols
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Tell a joke or just laugh.

The forum is boring right now, so I though I post a joke thread.

What's black and blue and lying in a ditch?
A Redhead who has told one too many dumb blonde jokes.

Two blodes are on opposite sides of a river.
first blond looks both ways and yells to the other ''How do I get to the other side of the river?''
The other yells back''You ARE on the other side of the river!''


Rememver to keep it clean folks.

No offence to blonde people.
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Old 11-19-2012, 01:21 PM   #2
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

You know what was a joke, it was my intensity on my workout today!! or the lack there of.
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Old 11-19-2012, 01:53 PM   #3
Joe C Thomas
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

Here are some quality ones...

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean Beef

Why doesn't the University of West Florida have a football team?
Cause then Auburn might want one!!

If two folks from Alabama get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?

A really smart fella from Mobile, AL, gets a full ride scholarship to Harvard. First day on campus he gets a little turned around and asks one of the professor types, "Hey, do you know where the library is at?" The professor says, "Here at Harvard we do not end sentences with a preposition. If you would like to rephrase the question, I would be happy to answer." The fella from Mobile says, "OK. Do you know where the library is at, ***hole?"

What's the difference between a yankee, and a damn yankee?
A yankee will go home!
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Old 11-19-2012, 03:44 PM   #4
Nik Nichols
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

One reason the Military Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don't speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to "secure a building," they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. The Army would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.


(I was in the Navy)
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Old 11-19-2012, 07:54 PM   #5
Brad Allen Jones
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Ohio?

Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

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Old 11-20-2012, 07:05 AM   #6
Nik Nichols
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

Not a joke, but it really got me going. This girl falls in a race and gets back up to win. Great video. WFS http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXwGdExof9k
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Old 11-20-2012, 08:40 AM   #7
Brad Allen Jones
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

You threadjacked your own thread?!
Just kidding, awesome video!

Here's one, though:

So a moth walks into a podiatrist's office.

Podiatrist: Whatís the problem?

Moth: Whatís the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Linovich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc I donít even know what Iím doing anymore. I donít even know if Gregory Linovich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But, I donít know. I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and thereÖ

Podiatrist: Oh yeah?

Moth: Yes. At night I sometimes wake up, and I turn to some old lady in my bed thatís on my arm; a lady I once loved, doc. I donít know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexandria; she fell in the cold of last year. The cold took her down as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc, my other boy, Gregaro Ivinolitanovitch; I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes all I see is the same cowardice that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only the cowardice was stronger, then perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all. Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though Iím a moth, just barely hanging onto my web of everlasting fire underneath me. Iím not feeling good.

Podiatrist: Moth, man, youíre trouble. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?

Moth: ĎCuz the light was on.
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Old 11-20-2012, 08:57 AM   #8
Nik Nichols
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brad Allen Jones View Post
You threadjacked your own thread?!
Just kidding, awesome video!

Here's one, though:

So a moth walks into a podiatrist's office.

Podiatrist: Whatís the problem?

Moth: Whatís the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Linovich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc I donít even know what Iím doing anymore. I donít even know if Gregory Linovich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But, I donít know. I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and thereÖ

Podiatrist: Oh yeah?

Moth: Yes. At night I sometimes wake up, and I turn to some old lady in my bed thatís on my arm; a lady I once loved, doc. I donít know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexandria; she fell in the cold of last year. The cold took her down as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc, my other boy, Gregaro Ivinolitanovitch; I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes all I see is the same cowardice that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only the cowardice was stronger, then perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all. Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though Iím a moth, just barely hanging onto my web of everlasting fire underneath me. Iím not feeling good.

Podiatrist: Moth, man, youíre trouble. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?

Moth: ĎCuz the light was on.
HA Good one. Yes I jacked my own thread!! Eh not like it was a real topic anyway!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.

(texas joke)
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Old 11-20-2012, 09:17 AM   #9
Brad Allen Jones
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nik Nichols View Post
HA Good one. Yes I jacked my own thread!! Eh not like it was a real topic anyway!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.

(texas joke)
In Michigan that would be to show the deer it was possible!
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Old 11-20-2012, 09:29 AM   #10
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Re: Tell a joke or just laugh.

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Originally Posted by Brad Allen Jones View Post
In Michigan that would be to show the deer it was possible!
Right! In canada it would be moose. Makes me kind of glad to be in texas. We get deer, but not to much where I'm at.
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