Re: 2014 45-49 Fittest on the Planet goal
Update alert. Email to my coach- Grandson and life Drama alert.
Man'o'man... 21 years ago I was arrested for a felony charge. The case was dropped, I did not see the judge and I did not post bail. But the arrest was on my record. I don't have any felony or misdemeanor's. Gracen was awarded to the State with Reese temporally in charge of him. They told Reese if I lived in the house (my house were we all live) Gracen would have to go into Foster Care until our house is approved. So Reese agreed to that and asked that I move to my apartment over the business I own. I did it but I am not happy about it. I had 15 years of family court with my ex fighting for my kids. I don't know if I can do it anymore. My character being questioned is coming into this, my past, present and future all hitting at the same time. The little boy inside feels abandoned and 2nd choice (even-though its the right choice) it still is screwed. Getting screwed over on something that was dropped 21 years ago triggers me and makes me want to fight or just quit. I pay for the house, utilities, and I have been paying for his day care. I don't know if the situation was reversed I could ask Reese to move out of her house that she paid for. Its really stirring up some past hurt with me and my kids. Family court stupid decisions/rules/no rules/just someone making decisions over people you love without any control. They told me on Wed my stuff had to be out of the house. I had a friend pack it up and move it to the garage. I really could not do it myself. They said an investigator is going to come by ASAP (still has not called) to inspect the house. I don't know about you but I am not that well with people telling me what to do especially if its really stupid and unjust. Its funny when Reese and I got Gracen she was a mess. She was tired, stressed and short. Controlling and a total *** one day. Sure she apologized and asked for forgiveness. I was mad at her for treating me bad when all I was doing was helping her. Financially she has goals and dreams. Now she is working less, tired, the baby is expensive. So at WZA I decided to chip in $1,000.00 per month for him and his expenses. Also pay for the house and utilities. I was all in, I also found a day care and picked him up and dropped him off some of the time. Heck I even changed some diapers and feed him at night. It felt good to be a part of his journey. She is in an impossible spot where she has to do what is right for Gracen. She called me on Tuesday crying and saying that she feels that she has to pick between me or Gracen. Which is kinda true. Because they have not giving me rules of what I can or can't do. So far I am not allowed to live in my house. I don't know how far that goes or what else I need to do or not do? Again I was forced to deal with the family courts for years with my kids. My ex wife was an alienator. I don't know if I have the fight right now. I just don't want to cave anymore, play their ball, jump thru the hoops. It feels like all of those years hitting me with more unfairness. And I am years away from it but it stings worse because I thought I was out of the woods. I just want someone to have a good explanation of why they had to force me out of my house or else Gracen was going into Foster Care. I am truthfully on the fence. Part of me would be so sad and part of me would be so relieved.
I am trying to be supportive of Reese (she keeps asking us to be a team) but I don't feel that she is living up to her part. Reese resists most all of my advice and recommendations. Usually in big situations she flat out squashes them. But a day/week/month/year later she somehow does what I advised her to do. Her explanation is that she says I don't do anything she says I should. Which is not true. I just take it in and put it in a place were I can best use it. She had a stomach bug or stress bug on Wed that I think that I got. My stomach is not feeling that well.
I really don't want to be a quitter and throw my sucker in the dirt. This **** is hard. I have been thru so much I don't know if I can take it anymore. I am just venting to peeps. One hour at a time. Until I get some answers I am lying in the tall grass ready to pound. That stubborn streak causes both good and bad in my life. It helps me at work, working out and sports but in the ways of the heart it can cause the other person to think WTF. Hehe
I have work until 5PM then hitting the gym easy and back at it on Saturday. This weekend I will fix my pad back up. Ironic that I gave my furniture to Reese's Daughter so I have a bed, GHD, Echo bike and L-sit paralletts for furniture. Heeheehehehaahah. The ****ed thing is that in the last year I have spent so much money getting my house so its comfortable. Maybe my massage chair will have to make it to my apartment.
Welcome to Feb! 1st month, 5 more of them. Get some duct tape to hold your athlete together. We are going to need it.