Re: OHS critique
My 2 cents :
I am not a coach, but your form is correct, you seem a little bit more stable on the right though.
Repetition is key, my overall overhead proficiency (snatch, ohs, ...) didn't progress for months until I religiously practiced it twice a week.
Variations are good but do not go too far from the real movements. you really can't be good at OHS without practicing the movement often.