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-   -   Charles Staley 's Gym Rules (http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=16753)

John Walsh 01-20-2006 09:07 AM

Charles Staley 's Gym Rules
 
1) First, never have a goal or a conscious strategy regarding what
you are trying to accomplish- just go in and basically do what
everyone else does.

2) Never seek professional assistance, even if you've never been in a
gym before...just watch others and copy what they do.

3) Whenever possible, perform your arm curls in a power rack. If the
gym has bumper plates, use them for the curls instead of regular
metal plates.

4) Always drink Gatorade before, during and after your "workout."
After all, if you let your glycogen stores become depleted, your body
might actually have to start accessing fat stores for fuel.

5) A walkman with headphones is mandatory- without this important
device, you might have to actually become conscious of what you are
doing.

6) Avoid the "Evil 5:" Squats, deadlifts, dips, chins, and Olympic
lifts. Of special importance: even though many gyms feature a
stylized pictogram of the snatch lift as part of their logo, NEVER
perform a snatch in a gym. NEVER.

7) Instead, concentrate on the "Golden 5:" Bench presses, arm curls,
behind the neck presses, lat pulldowns behind the neck, and dumbell
side bends.

8) Always leave your weights on the apparatus you just used- you may
risk burning an additional 6 calories if you replace them.

9) To impress others with your dedication and expertise, always bring
in a copy of Men's Fitness, and emulate the lastest midsection
workout by leaving the magazine open on the bench next to you, and
carefully study the photos between sets to make sure you're doing it
right.

10) Lastly make ample use of wrist wraps, belts, knee wraps, elbow
wraps, you name it- really go for that "mummy" look that's so in
vogue these days.

Jeffrey Crawford 01-20-2006 09:48 AM

this is classic

Adrian Bozman 01-20-2006 03:01 PM

Damn...I knew I was doing something wrong :lol:

Charles Staley 06-11-2009 11:35 AM

Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules
 
Did I write that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Walsh (Post 148708)
1) First, never have a goal or a conscious strategy regarding what
you are trying to accomplish- just go in and basically do what
everyone else does.

2) Never seek professional assistance, even if you've never been in a
gym before...just watch others and copy what they do.

3) Whenever possible, perform your arm curls in a power rack. If the
gym has bumper plates, use them for the curls instead of regular
metal plates.

4) Always drink Gatorade before, during and after your "workout."
After all, if you let your glycogen stores become depleted, your body
might actually have to start accessing fat stores for fuel.

5) A walkman with headphones is mandatory- without this important
device, you might have to actually become conscious of what you are
doing.

6) Avoid the "Evil 5:" Squats, deadlifts, dips, chins, and Olympic
lifts. Of special importance: even though many gyms feature a
stylized pictogram of the snatch lift as part of their logo, NEVER
perform a snatch in a gym. NEVER.

7) Instead, concentrate on the "Golden 5:" Bench presses, arm curls,
behind the neck presses, lat pulldowns behind the neck, and dumbell
side bends.

8) Always leave your weights on the apparatus you just used- you may
risk burning an additional 6 calories if you replace them.

9) To impress others with your dedication and expertise, always bring
in a copy of Men's Fitness, and emulate the lastest midsection
workout by leaving the magazine open on the bench next to you, and
carefully study the photos between sets to make sure you're doing it
right.

10) Lastly make ample use of wrist wraps, belts, knee wraps, elbow
wraps, you name it- really go for that "mummy" look that's so in
vogue these days.


Jamie J. Skibicki 06-11-2009 02:04 PM

Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules
 
You "My what a nice snatch you have" article would seem to contradict this list.

By the way, I use the "what muscle group does that work" response you wrote in that article all the time.

Justin McGinley 06-11-2009 02:37 PM

Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules
 
Holy thread necromancy, Batman.

Jamie J. Skibicki 06-11-2009 04:40 PM

Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules
 
Charles knows how to use the search function, for this he should be praised.

Shane Skowron 06-11-2009 05:04 PM

Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jamie J. Skibicki (Post 606223)
You "My what a nice snatch you have" article would seem to contradict this list.

By the way, I use the "what muscle group does that work" response you wrote in that article all the time.

Just read that article. I actually laughed out loud a few times. Good write-up!

Jamie J. Skibicki 06-11-2009 05:15 PM

Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules
 
Awesome, isn't it. I used to read walsh's stuff over at the moynihan institute. I used to be good and funny and pretty on, but he has this current thing against weight training. He's getting more and more annoying.

Andy Gann 06-11-2009 05:27 PM

Re: Charles Staley 's Gym Rules
 
Quote:

..."My what a nice snatch you have" article...
I have searched and can not find this article - link please?


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