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-   -   Bread (http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=50957)

Sean Dunston 09-10-2009 07:38 AM

Bread
 
I was going to post this in Nutrition, but thought that some people might take it seriously...

Did you know:

Quote:

1) More than 98 percent of convicted criminals are bread eaters!

2) Exactly half of all children who grow up in bread - eating households score in the bottom 50% on standardized IQ tests !

3) In the 19th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 55 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, scarlet fever, smallpox and influenza ravaged entire nations !

4) Statistics show that more than 75% of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread!

5) Bread is made from a substance called "dough." Researchers have proven that as little as one pound of dough can choke a large animal like a horse. The average person eats more bread than that in one month!

6) Bread is known to be extremely addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water, actually begged for bread after just two days!

7) Bread is a "gateway" food item, which usually leads to such items as butter, jam, peanut butter and even ... bacon!

8) Bread has been proven to kill. Scientists have now uncovered alarming evidence that 100% of the people who eat bread will eventually die!

9) Unattended newborn babies can choke on bread!

10) Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 425 degrees Fahrenheit! Don't laugh...that kind of heat can kill a full grown adult in less than five minutes.

11) 96% of cancer victims eventually admit that they've eaten bread!

12) Sadly, 9 out of 10 bread eaters are unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

Owen Bird 09-10-2009 07:56 AM

Re: Bread
 
Reads like a list of the threats of Dihydrogen Monoxide.

Jamie J. Skibicki 09-10-2009 08:02 AM

Re: Bread
 
"Reads like a list of the threats of Dihydrogen Monoxide. "

# is also known as hydric acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
# is a potent solvent that can, over time, dissolve virtually anything.
# has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
# can cause severe burns.
# contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
# accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
# may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
# is known to be an appetite and libido suppressant.

Regardless of the danger, it is still used
# as an industrial solvent and coolant.
# in nuclear power plants.
# in the production of harmful chemicals.
# as a fire retardant.
# in many forms of animal research.
# in the distribution of pesticides.
# as a potent preservative to keep grocery store produce
looking fresh and appetizing.
# as an ingredient in baby and infant products, especially formulas.

Eric Doolittle 09-10-2009 09:38 AM

Re: Bread
 
Quote:

10) Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 425 degrees Fahrenheit! Don't laugh...that kind of heat can kill a full grown adult in less than five minutes.
I dunno, I swear I survived that kind of heat for six months :kicking0:

Scott Moore. 09-10-2009 10:51 AM

Re: Bread
 
100% of people eat bread DIE
100% of people who don't eat bread....STILL DIE

Luke Hale 09-10-2009 11:47 PM

Re: Bread
 
87.2% of all statistics are completely made up

Jamie J. Skibicki 09-11-2009 06:00 AM

Re: Bread
 
5 out of 4 people are bad at fractions

Paul Sousa 09-11-2009 06:11 AM

Re: Bread
 
120% of people that read this read will have read this thread.


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